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    It's about time

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2027
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    It's about time

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Feb 03, 2017 11:54 pm

    Can't decide what to get the little lady for Valentine's Day? Here's a thought.



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    When I want the truth, I go straight to CNN to see what they have to say.

    Then I can say with full confidence, "Well, that ain't it."

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    Wearing someone else's underwear seems gross even after laundering it.

    But using forks and spoons in restaurants that have been placed into hundreds or thousands of different strangers' mouths doesn’t bother most people.

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    Wise words from an expert? Or, you can't make this stuff up?



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    If you think there are only two kinds of vests - suicide and bulletproof - you might be a Muslim.

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    Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.

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    If you have more wives than teeth, you might be a Muslim.

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    The correct response to "are you ticklish" is "I have diarrhea."

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    If you can't afford shoes but you own a $5,000 rocket launcher, you might be a Muslim.

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    Another stressful day in the lives of millennials.



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    If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but you think bacon is unclean, you might be a Muslim.

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    Women used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I make.

    Now they call me poor and ugly.

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    If you refine heroin but you think alcohol is a sin, you just might be a Muslim.

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:09 am