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    Only six more days! (Probably five more by the time you see this....)

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 1977
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Only six more days! (Probably five more by the time you see this....)

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:09 am

    Whenever I get a headache I do what the aspirin bottle says: Take 2 and keep away from children.

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    The next time you're down on yourself, the next time you really feel awful about who or what you are, just remember that there are people who actually take Buzzfeed and CNN seriously.

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    Now that CNN has been utterly discredited, can we remove it from cable packages and replace it with more realistic content like female midget professional wrestling?

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    According to the Quran, the Prophet Mohammed had sexual intercourse with a nine year old girl.

    No wonder he doesn't want to show his face.

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    It can be embarrassing telling someone your deepest sexual fantasies.

    Now I've got to tell a judge and a court room full of people.

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    Q: What do you call spaghetti with gluten-free noodles?

    A: Impasta

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    I don't understand people in libraries. If you go in and start screaming really loud, everybody stares at you and looks angry.

    Sheesh! Do the same thing on a commercial flight and everybody screams along with you.

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    I don't know if the human race can survive! Some of this behavior is already showing up in some millennials!



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    My wife accused me of being immature.

    I told her to get out, my fort is for boys only!

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    This girl I work with finally turned around to me, disgusted.

    "How would you like it if I kept leering at you all day, slapped your ass every time I saw you and made lewd comments to you all of the time?"

    "Is this a trick question?" I asked.

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    GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

    How may I help you?
    Press '1' for English.
    Press '2' to disconnect until you learn to speak English.

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    I was standing in front of the mirror admiring my sixpack.

    Then it got warm and I put it back in the fridge.

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    I was at the liquor store yesterday. (Ice storm coming and had to refill my emergency provisions.)

    I guess I must've looked lost or something, because the clerk came over and asked, "Need help?"

    "Yeah," I told her. "But I come here instead."

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    *SIGH*

    The things I put up with from my wife!



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    I was super lazy today—which is like regular lazy but I wore a cape.
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 594
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Only six more days! (Probably five more by the time you see this....)

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:58 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 479
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Only six more days! (Probably five more by the time you see this....)

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:37 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:27 am