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    New Year

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2027
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    New Year

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:50 am

    Drink from the cup of freedom and drown all your Soros.

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    Why didn't somebody think of that on Jan 20, 2009?



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    I was just about to have sex with this gorgeous blond girl when my wife suddenly walked in.

    She said, "You'd better have a good explanation for this!"

    I said, "Well, I was just about to have sex with this gorgeous blond girl when you suddenly walked in."

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    A three-legged dog walks into an old west saloon. He sidles up to the bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

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    One thing I think both conservatives and liberals actually agree on. They both want 2017 to be better than 2016.

    Both will get their wish. The liberals might not grasp it until 2020 or later, though.

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    My New Years Resolution - to have more sex.

    Haven't told my cell mate yet though.

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    News is NOT manipulated or faked!



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    Lost in translation:



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    I have just confirmed that David Schneider on twitter has learned that Putin will respond to the expulsion of Russian diplomats by changing the passwords on all White House accounts.

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    Brunette: 'You wanna come to my New Years Eve party?'

    Blond: 'Sure, when?'

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    Hillary claims she'll run again in 2024.

    Why not? Dead Democrats vote all of the time, so maybe they SHOULD run one of their own.



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    A girl I work with drinks a lot. I told her I was concerned about her.

    She said, "Don't worry. I'm not an alcoholic. I just like having an attractive husband."

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    I saw in the paper this morning that a dwarf had his pocket picked.

    How could anyone stoop so low?

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    Did you know there are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky?

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    An old friend in town for New Years asked if he could crash on my couch last night. I had to explain to him that I'm married now, so that's where I sleep.

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    My wife told me her mother's had a stroke, and she'll have to come and live with us for a few months.

    "That's cool," I said.

    She hugged me and said, "Oh, honey, you're so understanding."

    "Sure, no problem" I replied, "It'll always be fine with me that she's had a stroke."

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    I chose celibacy as my New Years resolution again.

    At least then it feels like I have some choice in the matter.
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 537
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: New Year

    Post  JJRobinson on Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:45 pm

    Good ones... Laughing
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 599
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: New Year

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Jan 01, 2017 5:58 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 483
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: New Year

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:57 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:05 am