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    Where from here?

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2344
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Where from here?

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Dec 29, 2016 11:49 pm

    CLINTON BOOK MARKED DOWN FOR QUICK SALE

    With the election in the rearview mirror, the publisher for Hillary Clinton's most recent book, "Hard Choices," wants to clear existing stock.



    Toward that end, the book has been renamed "The Price of Failure" and reduced 86% at your nearest retailer.

    If for some strange reason a shopper decides to purchase more than one copy (gag gifts, treatment for insomnia, to send a breakup message to an old flame, to prod a snowflake into meltdown every time they slip out of it for a second or two, etc) some outlets are letting additional copies go for as little as 2¢ each with the purchase of one copy at the full discounted price of $4.99.

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    My marriage was defined at the perfume counter. I was buying Obsession for her, she was buying Poison for me.

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    A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text.

    "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"

    The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

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    It got really cold last night. It was freezing when I got up this morning and went to work.

    Awhile after I got there, my wife sent me a text. "Windows frozen, won't open"

    I texted back, "Pour some warm water over it then gently tap the edges with a hammer."

    Ten minutes later she texted back, "Computer really messed up now."

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    According to my neighbor's diary I have boundary issues.

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    With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world recently, it's worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

    Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.

    The most traumatic part for the family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

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    I went to a party the other day. It turned out to be a catastrophe. One of my coworkers thought the saying was "Eat, drink and be Mary."

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    When I wrap gifts myself, I tell everyone a child did it so it's cute instead of pathetic.

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    Sometimes I procrastinate many things at once. It's similar to multitasking. I call it multicrastination and it is exhausting.
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 571
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Where from here?

    Post  JJRobinson on Fri Dec 30, 2016 6:24 am

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    Psycho144

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Where from here?

    Post  Psycho144 on Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:19 am

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 522
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Where from here?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Fri Dec 30, 2016 11:58 am

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