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    This is a true story

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1627
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    This is a true story

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:16 pm

    Some of it, anyway.


    IMAGINE: You are in a landing craft 500m out from Omaha Beach on D-Day 1944

    People are throwing up from sea sickness all around you.

    The landing craft ahead of yours was hit by an artillery shell and explodes

    You yell to your squad: "GUYS...I'M TRIGGEREDI NEED A SAFE SPACE! TURN THE BOAT AROUND!"

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    Some presents at Christmas time are small, yet they will truly stay with you forever.

    Like %@&**!$ wrapping paper glitter.

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    How does every black joke start?

    By looking over your shoulder!

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    Since it's coming up on 2017 I suppose it's time to swallow my pride and do something my wife has been harping on about. Time to get rid of my 2014 wall calendar. *

    It's too bad actually. Another few years and it would have been right again. Except for the year. That and I'd have to wait for September since I tore all of the pages before that off already.

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    I went up to a girl at a bar.

    I said, "How about you come back to my place later?"

    "I think you should ask my boyfriend first." she laughed.

    I said, "No thanks, I'm not gay." **

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    I made a resolution for the new year. But I'm still holding firm to my one from last year to stop lying to myself about making resolutions.


    * The 2014 wall calendar is a true one. And it starts on September. Some jokes ARE actually true stories. I even pointed out to my wife during one of her pointing-finger episodes that it would be correct - starting in September - in 2025. (It would have been earlier if 2020 wasn't a leap year.)

    ** I actually went through a conversation with a checkout clerk in a grocery store somewhat like that about 25 years ago. Instead of the above she said "My boyfriend wouldn't like that" and I responded "Oh, you've already asked?" That was back when I was still young and beautiful (and not quite so smart) instead of old and beautifuller.
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 429
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: This is a true story

    Post  Joencalif2 on Wed Dec 28, 2016 2:10 pm

    LOL

      Current date/time is Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:49 pm