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    It came out of the sky

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2026
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    It came out of the sky

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:24 am

    There are three genders: Male, Female and Lena Dunham.

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    I saw an ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need.

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    A Republican, Democrat & a Socialist lived in the same house. One day the house burned down. The Republican was the only one who lived.

    He was also the only one at work.

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    Therapist: "I think you have a phobia about marriage . Do you know what the symptoms are?"

    Me: "Can't say I do."

    Therapist: "That's one of 'em."

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    I bought my kid a pack of batteries for Christmas with a note saying: "Toys not included."

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    The one thing a woman doesn't want to find in her stockings on Christmas morning is her husband.

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    Q: Why are there no Muslim Hippies?

    A: They don't want to get stoned.

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    Confused? Then they've got you where they want you.



    The first couple of minutes of this discusses how hard it is to know what to call people, too. (The whole thing is pretty good.)





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    I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s not her main present – it’s just a stocking stuffer.

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    I love how everyone says, "Oh, I don't eat meat, I'm a vegan" instead of just admitting they have an eating disorder.

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    I never cease to amaze myself. Without me, I'd be nothing. I'm also my own best audience, or so I'm told.
    --- Barack Obama






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    Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in the lottery on Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just two days later.

    Talk about luck!

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    I tried to come up with something witty and romantic to my wife one time on our anniversary. So I bought a card and wrote the following prose.

    My love for you is like chocolate.
    It will melt away as soon as something hotter comes along.

    Weird. For some reason she got upset. I don't think I'll use that with the new wife.
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    Ladyelaine

    Posts : 351
    Join date : 2016-08-27
    Location : Suwannee Springs, Florida

    Re: It came out of the sky

    Post  Ladyelaine on Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:43 am

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 483
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It came out of the sky

    Post  Joencalif2 on Thu Dec 22, 2016 10:40 am

    LOL.,..

      Current date/time is Sat Oct 21, 2017 7:56 pm