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    Life

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 1627
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Life

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:04 pm

    I don't know why people call me homophobic. I love my house!

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    Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?

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    A wife is like a hand grenade.

    Remove the ring, and your house is gone.

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    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

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    When I was young there was this woman I really had a thing for. She was beautiful and I would have done anything for her.

    I thought breakfast in bed would be nice. But when I brought it to her she screamed, "HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?"

    I guess we weren't meant for each other after all.

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    My wife told me, "Sex is so much better on vacation." That wasn't the nicest postcard I ever received!

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    I was standing in the park, and I wondered why a Frisbee gets larger as it gets closer. Then it hit me.

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    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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    The other day my wife asked me, "Why did God give women periods with cramps and aches, but He didn't give men anything?"

    I laughed and said, "Don't be silly. He gave us women."

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    If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

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    I hate the part of the conversation where the other person says things.

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    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

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    What's another word for thesaurus?

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    A Muslim family moved into a house with rats.

    "Damn, these things breed so fast," thought the rat.
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 429
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Life

    Post  Joencalif2 on Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:19 pm

    Funny.... Very Happy

      Current date/time is Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:52 pm