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    Whatever happened to all of the fun in the world?

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2027
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Whatever happened to all of the fun in the world?

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:07 am

    It I had a dollar for every woman who found me unattractive, eventually they'd find me attractive.

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    A cop pulled me over because I was driving erratic. He asked me if I had anything in my pockets that might harm him. I informed him that the only thing in my pocket other than my wallet was a naked picture of a girl I'd pick up a couple of days ago and had sex with.

    How was I supposed to know it was his wife?

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    I'm a white male, now in my 60's, lead a solitary life, married with a son. I've finally hit the prerequisites for serial killer, BUT NOOOOOO, my wife won't let me. She also said I can't become a cult leader. It's not like I want to be a lawyer or politician.

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    I was recently diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. DUH, I'm married!

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    Q: What do you call a leftist who actually cares about individuals and doesn't lump them into categories of race, religion & gender?
    A: Imaginary!

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    I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.

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    I wasn't sure if a lot of people thought I was a massive idiot or not. So I posted a picture of my Christmas tree on Facebook.

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    "I'll meet you for lunch at noon," I told my college student girlfriend.  "You know, when both of Mickey's hands are pointing straight up."

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    I'm starting to think the gym isn't for me. I went yesterday and laid down on the mat to do some situps. I woke up 2 hours later and still hadn't done any.

    So I'll name my bathroom Jim. That way I can tell the wife I'm going to the Jim and she'll get off of my back about my gut.

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    Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He asks the clerk for a cone.

    "Sure," says the clerk. "What flavor?"

    "It doesn't matter. I'm gonna drop it anyway."

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    When I get bored I like to go to the mall, find an excellent parking spot, then park in it with my car running and in reverse.

    It's pretty amazing how long those lines can get, and all of the yelling and stuff.
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 483
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Whatever happened to all of the fun in the world?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:01 pm

    LOL........

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 9:56 am