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    sinister_midget
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    Post a new topic

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Apr 09, 2018 2:30 pm

    They can probably read it, too.



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    I asked my coworker what kind of soup that was he was eating. He started clucking.

    "Chicken?" I asked.

    "No, mushroom. But I don't know how to make mushroom sounds."

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    After the admission by Emma Gonzalez that she and others teased the Parkland school shooter for several years, the Department of Education is telling schools to add a new course to the curriculum nationally.



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    THE SENILITY PRAYER

    God, grant me the senility to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of all the a%%&@*!s I had to kill today because they're complete idiots.

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    I was just leafing through the latest Victoria's Secret catalog and I think I figured out the secret. Bulimia.

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    Sure does!



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    This heavy girl came on to me last night in a bar. "I'm out to have a good time for a change. I left the kids at home with my other half."

    "Holy crap!" I said. "Just how big are you?"

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    Yep, he came full circle.



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    I constantly try to lose weight. But it keeps finding me.

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    It's a capital crime is what it is!!



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    A Jehovah's Witness rang my doorbell this morning. I invited him in, gave him a cup of coffee, laid out a few pastries.

    After he sat down and got comfortable, I asked him, "So, what's all this Jehovah's Witness stuff about?"

    He said, "I have no idea. I never got this far before."

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    Not all of 'em. Some leave the bodies where they land.



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    "What do you like more?" my wife asked. "Christmas or sex?"

    "Christmas, of course!" I said.

    "Why is that?"

    "It happens more often."

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    I thought I was looking at a browser pop-up ad!



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     Interesting. But I was looking for the straight exhibit.



    _________________
    The American Dream is to be Donald Trump.
    -- Barack Hussein Obama
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    Psycho144

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    Re: Post a new topic

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:52 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

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    Location : Texas

    Re: Post a new topic

    Post  JJRobinson on Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:09 am

    Laughing

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