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    I went to school to become a wit, but only got halfway through

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2888
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    I went to school to become a wit, but only got halfway through

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Mar 03, 2018 12:34 am

    Remind you of anybody? Other than the several million born after 1998 I mean?



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    What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's in Iowa?

    Prom night.

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    If 2 people with Nationwide run into each other, whose side is Nationwide really on?

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    Yes, I can.



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    What do Ethiopians do on Friday night?

    Starve.

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    With great power comes great electricity bill.

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    Some people let their goals in life die too easily!



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    When I took acid I would see things. Like beams of light. And I'd hear sounds. They sounded an awful lot like car horns.

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    Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and we'd come out 2 sizes smaller and wrinkle-free?

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    Before sex dolls:

    FEMINIST: We're not here to cook and clean. We're not here to raise your kids.

    After sex dolls:



    FEMINIST:


     
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    My wife and I were granted a divorce last Friday after 7 long years of marriage.

    That's the last mirror I'll ever break!

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    20 years ago almost every kid could eat a PB&J without getting ill, autism, gluten and ADHD problems were virtually non-existent, and schools weren't being shot up.

    Then they pretty much stopped showing Looney Tunes on TV.

    Coincidence? I think not!

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    Waldo was right in front of us all along!



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    The snow was really bad here the other day. I went over to the 83-year-old Vera's house and asked if she needed anything from the grocery store.

    She said she did. So I handed her my list.

    No point in both of us taking risks in such nasty weather.

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    I went to a hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese restaurant and ordered the spicy chicken.



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    Beats a tattoo.



    _________________
    The American Dream is to be Donald Trump.
    -- Barack Hussein Obama
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 760
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: I went to school to become a wit, but only got halfway through

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:37 am

    Laughing Laughing

      Current date/time is Tue Jun 19, 2018 1:25 am