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    A valentine twofer

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    sinister_midget
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    A valentine twofer

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Feb 15, 2018 12:23 am

    I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day.

    "A divorce!" she screamed.

    "Sheesh!" I said. "I didn't want to spend that much!"

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    IT'S ELMO! HIDE THE KIDS!!



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    The wife said she wanted to feel special on Valentine's Day.

    I got her some crayons and a helmet.

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    A little too late for this year. But keep them for next year. Or an anniverssary or something.

      

      

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    In case you don't have a date for Valentine's Day, it's February 14.

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    Any questions?



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    Single, feeling sad, lonely and on edge today? Take comfort in the fact that an anagram of "Valentines Day" is "A nasty evil end."

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    Hillary Clinton literally saved my life!

    A few years ago I was in an accident and ended up in a coma. When I came out of it my limbs wouldn't work. Doctors examined me and said I'd never walk again and probably could never feed myself either as I'd lost total motor control over my limbs.

    My wife stayed with me quite a bit of the time over the next few days. At one point she was watching TV and left to go out and get some coffee. The TV was still on.

    A few minutes after she left a news conference started, dealing with the middle east. Hillary Secretary of State at the time and she was holding it.

    At the sound of her voice, my arms and legs found their will, got me out of bed and over to the TV, where I turned it off.

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    I've been there!



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    Today is Valentine's Day. If you're single, don't worry. You're going to die alone anyway.

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    Even Millennials can get in the spirit!



    _________________
    Few skills are so well rewarded as the ability to convince parasites that they are victims.
    -- Thomas Sowell
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 651
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 71
    Location : Texas

    Re: A valentine twofer

    Post  JJRobinson on Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:48 am

    Very Happy
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 752
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    Age : 78

    Re: A valentine twofer

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:04 am

    Laughing Laughing

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