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    Time to begn another year of winning!


    Posts : 2460
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Time to begn another year of winning!

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:57 pm

    Should have passed it on instead of keeping it a secret!


    My 4-year-old son had a very good question for me this morning.

    "Daddy," he said, "why do people make up things that their children have said for social media? Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of an inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves?"

    Out of the mouths of babes!


    Hey, some have done worse jobs.


    A middle-aged woman walks into the room nude and goes over to her husband.

    "What are you doing?" the husband asks.

    "This is my love dress," she says coyly.

    "Well, I don't think you should go anywhere in it unless you iron it first."


    If that don't beat all!

    I just found out my neighbor's cat is the same width as one of my tires!


    Maybe a little.


    If I had a dollar for every gender, I'd have two dollars. And a bunch of counterfeits.


    It's about time somebody considered the abused!


    I snuggled up to this woman I met at the bar. "We can have some alone time now," I told her. "I put your kids to sleep already."

    "Wow! Wish I could do it that quickly! How did you manage?"

    I said, "Not too tough, really. I'm a vet."


    Good boy!


    A key to why the election turned out as it did?

    Donald Trump and Hillary made a joint visit to a bakery while campaigning. While in the bakery, Hillary sneaked three pastries into her pocket.

    She said to Trump, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't need to lie. That's why I'm going to win the election."

    Trump said to her, That's so typical of you. So sad. You have to use trickery, deceit and theft. Now I'm going to show you how to get the same result honestly."

    Trump said to the bakery owner, "Let me have three pastries and I'll show you a magic trick."

    The owner pulled out the pastries and waited for the trick.

    Trump ate all three, one after the other.

    The bakery waited. Finally, sensing the trick was to make the pastries show up again, he said, "So? Where'd they go?"

    Trump said, "Look in Hillary's pocket."


    I heard they're going on tour.


    Ringo Starr was knighted pretty much for staying alive.

    On the other hand, Barry Gibb was knighted for Staying Alive.


    Sage advice for the coming New Year Eve.


    Obama's mama so white Sheila Jackson Lee would steal her seat on a United flight.


    I hear it was so cold in New England this morning that Bernie Sanders refused to leave one of his 3 multi-million dollar houses!

    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell

    Posts : 680
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Time to begn another year of winning!

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Dec 31, 2017 9:28 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

    Posts : 550
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Time to begn another year of winning!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:55 am

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    Re: Time to begn another year of winning!

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