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    I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

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    sinister_midget
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    I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:06 am

    It's a good thing Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

    They'd have a terrible time getting gifts for their wives now that Toys'R'Us is pretty much kaput.


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    The typical conservative is so racist that he actually believes blacks have the intelligence to succeed without the help of white liberal handouts!


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    I see. I've been using it wrong.




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    My mother-in-law bought a parrot. After a week she took it back.

    "I can't get this parrot to say anything," she said.

    "I haven't had the chance!" exclaimed the parrot.


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    I like to annoy Muslims by asking if Muhammad is their Christian name.


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    Islam is a religion of peace.

    If you ignore the whole suicide bombing, burning people alive, beheading, throwing gays off rooftops, stoning rape victims, child marriage and clitorectomy thing.


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    I took my wife for a week to the Everglades. It was the best vacation ever!

    She was eaten by an alligator the first day.


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    "Press one for English"




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    I just had a sneak peek at one of my Christmas presents. A bag of rice.

    Thanks Uncle Ben!


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    I took a trip to India. Spent a week. Odd thing, I didn't see a single wigwam.


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    I went out on a blind date last night. She told me, "I'm not like other girls."

    "Great!" I said. "So you know where you want to eat."


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    Finally, some actual scientific evidence!




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    I don't want to brag, or make anyone jealous. But I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school!


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    As I stood in court awaiting sentencing I whispered, "I hope they don't rape new inmates on their first night in prison."

    "You're not exactly filling me with confidence," said my client.


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    Why did the cows keep returning to the marijuana field?

    It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back.


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    Not sure if this is a place where teaching never stopped, or it's one where teaching is starting to make a comeback.




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    This past week was sure a rough one!

    But on a positive note, I didn't need any bail money and I don't have any bodies to hide.


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    I don't pretend to be anything I'm not.

    Well, except sober. I've definitely pretended to be sober a few times.


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    Psycho144

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  Psycho144 on Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:27 am

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    JJRobinson

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  JJRobinson on Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:45 am

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  Guest on Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:46 pm

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

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