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    I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

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    sinister_midget
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    I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:06 am

    It's a good thing Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

    They'd have a terrible time getting gifts for their wives now that Toys'R'Us is pretty much kaput.


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    The typical conservative is so racist that he actually believes blacks have the intelligence to succeed without the help of white liberal handouts!


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    I see. I've been using it wrong.




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    My mother-in-law bought a parrot. After a week she took it back.

    "I can't get this parrot to say anything," she said.

    "I haven't had the chance!" exclaimed the parrot.


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    I like to annoy Muslims by asking if Muhammad is their Christian name.


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    Islam is a religion of peace.

    If you ignore the whole suicide bombing, burning people alive, beheading, throwing gays off rooftops, stoning rape victims, child marriage and clitorectomy thing.


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    I took my wife for a week to the Everglades. It was the best vacation ever!

    She was eaten by an alligator the first day.


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    "Press one for English"




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    I just had a sneak peek at one of my Christmas presents. A bag of rice.

    Thanks Uncle Ben!


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    I took a trip to India. Spent a week. Odd thing, I didn't see a single wigwam.


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    I went out on a blind date last night. She told me, "I'm not like other girls."

    "Great!" I said. "So you know where you want to eat."


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    Finally, some actual scientific evidence!




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    I don't want to brag, or make anyone jealous. But I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school!


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    As I stood in court awaiting sentencing I whispered, "I hope they don't rape new inmates on their first night in prison."

    "You're not exactly filling me with confidence," said my client.


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    Why did the cows keep returning to the marijuana field?

    It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back.


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    Not sure if this is a place where teaching never stopped, or it's one where teaching is starting to make a comeback.




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    This past week was sure a rough one!

    But on a positive note, I didn't need any bail money and I don't have any bodies to hide.


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    I don't pretend to be anything I'm not.

    Well, except sober. I've definitely pretended to be sober a few times.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  Psycho144 on Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:27 am

    Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  JJRobinson on Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:45 am

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    Joencalif2

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:46 pm

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    Re: I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me

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