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    A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

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    Psycho144

    Posts : 773
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:28 pm

    [size=32]A Man's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot[/size]

    You are in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new fence, painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old
     T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes..

    Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run to Home Depot for supplies.


    Depending on your age you might do the following:


    In your 20s:
     
    Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. 
    Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.

    And yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.


    In your 30s:
     
    Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
    Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. 

    The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
     

    In your 40s:

    Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
    Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
    Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.


    The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about thinking she's spicy.


    In your 50s:

    Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. 

    The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms ' 


    In your 60s:

    Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.

    The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you're not sure.


    In your 70s:

    Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescript ions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.

    The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize something is hanging out the hole in your pants.


    In your 80s:

    Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead.
    You went to school with the old lady greeter.


    You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. 
    Then you fart out loud and think someone called your name.

    In your 90s & beyond:

    What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? 
    Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
     
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:59 pm

    I have a little of all of that beginning about age 60.

    The 80s part, (I'm just short of 65) I went to Walmart for something I wanted at the grocery. But that was OK because I needed something at Walmart anyway. I just wouldn't have gone there at the time if I hadn't made a mistake. Once I got that one thing I needed (and a few other things I didn't really need) I went to the grocery and didn't get the one thing I wanted. I did get some other things I wanted, just not the main one. 4 more trips to the grocery and I still forgot it every time. Even though I had a list each time I went. But all of those times I got everything else on the list. The wife finally got that thing someplace else because she saw it written on the board for several days. But she didn't even know I'd gone after it a few times already and forgot every time.


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    Ladyelaine

    Posts : 537
    Join date : 2016-08-27
    Location : Suwannee Springs, Florida

    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  Ladyelaine on Tue Dec 12, 2017 1:05 pm

    You guys make my day Very Happy. Smiling at all of you, no matter what your age.
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 773
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Dec 14, 2017 6:00 am

    At 77yrs I feel very lucky I rarely forget anything.
    I thank the Lord daily for that.


    Psycho
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    JJRobinson

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    Age : 71
    Location : Texas

    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  JJRobinson on Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:33 am

    What...?
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Dec 14, 2017 9:13 am

    I often forget one thing or another. But that's normally because I have several places to go don't take a list and get too involved in other things I wanted to look into and maybe/maybe not get. Normally just a list is enough to get everything. But I usually assume I won't need one. And most of the time I'm right because I get it all anyway.

    Maybe 1/4 of the time there's one or two things that I have to go after more than once. It's rare I have to do it more than twice, but it does happen.

    When it does happen I tell my wife it's because I'm so brilliant that I have too many things on my mind that are more important and those brilliant things crowd the trivial things out. I'm not sure if she believes me, though. The look on her face says she doesn't. But she doesn't say anything either, so I'm guessing that I'm mistaking that look as disgust when it's really awe.


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    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  Guest on Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:20 am

    The age 60's description seems about right... What a Face
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    Sunshine16

    Posts : 248
    Join date : 2016-08-28
    Location : Virginia

    Re: A mans age !!!!!!!!!!

    Post  Sunshine16 on Sat Dec 16, 2017 7:34 am

    I'm 63...I walk into rooms and forget why all the time.

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