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    As the world turns

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2344
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    As the world turns

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:45 pm

    Son: Hi dad, I want to tell you something but I'm afraid that... 
    Dad: Go on son you can tell me anything, you know that 
    Son: I'm a transgender 
    Dad: I HAVE NO SON! 
    Son: Great! I knew you'd understand!


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    When a jailbreak plan comes together.




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    If light travels faster than the speed of sound, how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?


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    I have to say, Goldie has aged a bit more gracefully than Miss Piggy.




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    Not sure how she ever got off!




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    Some call it armed robbery. I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun.


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    There's a new app for Android phones calle MakeApp. What it does is it takes a picture you give it of somebody, then tries to remove makeup from the face to show you what the person looks like without it.

    For instance, they have this as an example on the app page on the Play Store.



    I decided to give it a shot with a picture I uploaded to it. What do you think?




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    Transgender people just want us to accept them for who they are.

    Even though they wouldn't accept themselves for who they were.


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    Al Franken getting punished for forcing his tongue down a woman's throat is a small amount of sweet vindication for those of us who had to endure listening to his unfunny jokes shoved down ours on SNL.


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    If Bruce Jenner can win Woman of the Year, there's no reason Sarah Jessica Parker can't win the Kentucky Derby.


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    I guess the blue sign wasn't clear enough. Or too clear.




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    My girlfriend told me, "I've been a very bad girl. I need to be punushed!"

    "Very well," I said. I installed Windows 10 on her laptop.


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    I saved a ton of money on car insurance earlier yesterday.

    I got my license suspended 2 years for drunk driving.


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    Who knew?




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    My wife says I have two faults. That I don't listen....and something else.


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    What a pal, always putting the concerns of others first!




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    I don't get it. There's just no pleasing my wife!

    She said she wanted help with the housework. I agreed!

    So what's she do? She goes nuts when my girlfriend shows up to help!


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    A four-way tie it is!




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    My neighbor gave birth to Siamese twins.

    My wife knitted them a W-neck sweater as a gift.


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    My Muslim neighbor decided nobody can ever wear a burka inside his home again. Sounded odd, so I asked him about it.

    Turns out he accidentally raped his wife instead of his daughter. Twice.


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    I don't get it. Did something fall out of the tree? Did he step on a loose tool? Or maybe fall in while mounting the last piece?




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    I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing my political views on Facebook!


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    Comes with its own convenient travel case.




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    I wasn't very close to my grandfather when he died. In some ways I'm glad.

    He stepped on a landmine.


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    Holy cow! Where's Gloria Who's-All-Red on this?




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    You know what's funny? Pictures of Adam and Eve where they both have belly buttons.

    Think about it.....Take as much time as you need.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 522
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: As the world turns

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:09 pm

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: As the world turns

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:46 pm

    Laughing Laughing bounce bounce

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    Re: As the world turns

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