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    It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2344
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:18 pm

    Ah, married life!




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    Antifa came out of their mommies' basements on November 4th.

    They saw their shadows and realized they have 7 more years of President Trump, then went back to the basement to eat Cheetos and play video games until it's over.


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    Of course homosexuality is a mental illness.

    Why else would they fight so hard for the right to get married?


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    Some people!




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    Hypochondria is the only illness I don't have.


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    I finally figured out how to make Windows run faster!

    I installed the French version.


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    What do Pyongyang and Hiroshima have in common?

    Nothing. Yet.


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    Guess artificial insemination was ruled out.




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    Q: What day is it?

    A: Day 292 of Hillary not being president.


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    They're getting aggressive!




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    My wife called me, panting and breathless.

    "Where are you?" she moaned.

    "I just got to the bar. I'll be home in awhile."

    She said, "I think the baby's coming!"

    I said, "She won't get in. She's under-age."


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    Safety matches are so clever! It's such a comfort knowing that children won't be able to light them unless they somehow manage to find the box they're stored in.


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    Hey, when you're the smartest person who ever lived.....




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    "Do what you love and money will follow."

    Ate pizza, drank wine, took 5-hour nap in my underwear and took selfies with my dog.

    Now I wait.


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    I'm not too fond of the taste anyway.



    Never been much of a carpet muncher.


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    Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on the moon?

    Because if he used SpaceY he'd land on a 14-year-old boy.


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    This morning I was watching a young lady having a hard time backing up her car, so I offered to help.

    "Get lost!" she yelled. "I can do it myself!"

    "Please, I insist," I said. "It's my living room."


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    Sometimes it's still not enough.




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    Doctor: I'm sorry but you have a terminal illness and only have 10 to live! 
    Patient: What do you mean 10! 10 what? Weeks, months!? 
    Doctor: 9


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    It's important to know how to tell them apart.




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    I started to buy some snowshoes. But then I got worried they'd melt before I could get them home.


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    Well, on a book tour the author signs their work, right?




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    Alright, time for a game called 'How Many Toes?'

    Below is a picture of a man named Michael. Looking at the foot on the ground, how many toes does Michael have?

    ☐ 5
    ☐ 2
    ☐ 6
    ☐ Toes?
    ☐ Which one is Michael?
    ☐ 4



    The correct answer is 6. (The other correct answer is the one with toes showing.)


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 522
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    Post  Joencalif2 on Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:13 pm

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:51 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing

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    Re: It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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