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    Velcro - what a rip-off!

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2460
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    Velcro - what a rip-off!

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:01 pm

    I screwed up. I got drunk at a family dinner and accidentally let slip that I'd lied about achieving a doctorate in biology.

    Me and my big face hole thingamajig!


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    I've got a problem. Both my sister and my girlfriend invited me over for dinner tonight. I can't decide which one to go to.

    Rednecks have it soooooo easy.


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    Because of my very strict beliefs, I'm against two men getting married.

    It's unnatural! I mean, who makes the sandwich?


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    Some people!




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    This just in: Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller Indicts Trump Tower Janitor's Cousin For Removel Of Couch Cushion Tags


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    After my wife had given birth the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?"

    I said, "Yes. Richard."

    She said, "AWWW! That's a lovely name!"

    "Thanks," I said. "But we're still trying to decide what to name the baby."


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    Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

    You'll never convince me that's a coincidence!


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    I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just love the smell of it.


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    This one's sure to be a blockbuster!



    Plus, the awards show?

    "And the award for the best Rapist, Stalker and Pedophile in a supporting role goes to....."


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    I saw one of those signs that says, "Have you seen my cat?"

    I called them up and told them I hadn't.

    I like being helpful when possible.


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    How to confuse a feminist.

    Tell her you won't let her make you a sandwich because she's female.


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    If a stranger says you look familiar, ask them, "Were we in prison together?"


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    Yep, you missed it. As soon as they can find a way to resurrect him DJT is going to push for the death penalty.


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    According to a poll, 49% of Americans think Trump committed a crime.

    In the same poll, 99% were sure Obama committed several.


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    I accidentally said hello to a feminist the other day.

    My trial starts Monday.


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    Don't forget, Antifa has declared tomorrow the beginning of a reign of chaos and terror!





    Be safe out there!


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    My girlfriend asked me if I'd like to get into some domination and humiliation games. I said sure, why not!

    Now we're married.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 550
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Velcro - what a rip-off!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:08 am

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 680
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Velcro - what a rip-off!

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Nov 06, 2017 1:00 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing

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    Re: Velcro - what a rip-off!

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