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    If all is not lost, where is it?

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    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2344
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:08 pm

    When I die I want my search history read out at my funeral.

    That should turn sadness and depression on the part of family and friends to open disgust.


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    There's always gotta be one!




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    The other night I saw a host of pale, emaciated figures, with haunted eyes that showed the agony of living death.

    It was my first - and last - time in a vegan restaurant.


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    My wife told me I should get in touch with my feminine side. I reluctantly agreed to try.

    Last night I crashed the car, burned dinner and ignored her all night for no reason.

    Hope that's good enough for her.


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    I thought about bringing up the idea of a threesome with my wife.

    Then I decided that if I want to disappoint two people at the same time I can just have dinner with my parents.


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    Bet you thought they were make believe.





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    Only 3 more terrorist attacks until Christmas!


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    Peaceful Muslims are uniting to protest racist remarks following next week's terrorist attacks.


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    This Muslim I work with agreed to join me in celebration of Movember, when mustaches are allowed to grow untrimmed for the entire month.

    Two days in and hers is almost fully grown.


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    Performing an investigation at the scene of the crime.



    Seems to be having some trouble finding the evidence.


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    Never leave your child in a Muslim nursery!

    I left my 4-year-old daughter for an afternoon and now I'm expected to pay for the wedding!


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    You got that right.




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    I got gang raped in the prison shower last night by a bunch of Muslims.

    I thought, "Thank God they only shower every 3 or 4 months!"


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    '30 days has September, April, June and November.'

    No it's not. It's 120 days.


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    You don't get a body like mine overnight.

    It takes years of moderate neglect and bacon!


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    Jeez, try to come up with something new!




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    I split with my wife after 18 years and I have to admit I'm finding it to be a struggle.

    I don't think I'll ever get the hang of burning my own dinner.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 522
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:37 pm

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Nov 02, 2017 6:50 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

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