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    If all is not lost, where is it?

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2888
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:08 pm

    When I die I want my search history read out at my funeral.

    That should turn sadness and depression on the part of family and friends to open disgust.


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    There's always gotta be one!




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    The other night I saw a host of pale, emaciated figures, with haunted eyes that showed the agony of living death.

    It was my first - and last - time in a vegan restaurant.


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    My wife told me I should get in touch with my feminine side. I reluctantly agreed to try.

    Last night I crashed the car, burned dinner and ignored her all night for no reason.

    Hope that's good enough for her.


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    I thought about bringing up the idea of a threesome with my wife.

    Then I decided that if I want to disappoint two people at the same time I can just have dinner with my parents.


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    Bet you thought they were make believe.





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    Only 3 more terrorist attacks until Christmas!


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    Peaceful Muslims are uniting to protest racist remarks following next week's terrorist attacks.


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    This Muslim I work with agreed to join me in celebration of Movember, when mustaches are allowed to grow untrimmed for the entire month.

    Two days in and hers is almost fully grown.


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    Performing an investigation at the scene of the crime.



    Seems to be having some trouble finding the evidence.


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    Never leave your child in a Muslim nursery!

    I left my 4-year-old daughter for an afternoon and now I'm expected to pay for the wedding!


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    You got that right.




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    I got gang raped in the prison shower last night by a bunch of Muslims.

    I thought, "Thank God they only shower every 3 or 4 months!"


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    '30 days has September, April, June and November.'

    No it's not. It's 120 days.


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    You don't get a body like mine overnight.

    It takes years of moderate neglect and bacon!


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    Jeez, try to come up with something new!




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    I split with my wife after 18 years and I have to admit I'm finding it to be a struggle.

    I don't think I'll ever get the hang of burning my own dinner.


    _________________
    The American Dream is to be Donald Trump.
    -- Barack Hussein Obama

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    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  Guest on Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:37 pm

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 760
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Nov 02, 2017 6:50 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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    Re: If all is not lost, where is it?

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