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    When is National Penguin Day?

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    sinister_midget
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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:20 pm

    I woke up this morning beside myself with joy!

    I think I forgot to take my schizophrenia medicine.


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    On November 4 Antifa is going to start a revolution.

    Don't get caught off guard!



    (Coincidentally, 4 days later, as though they already know the outcome of the revolution, people across America are planning to screech loudly and uselessly at the sky.)


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    Imagine how bad it would be if Islam wasn't a peaceful religion!


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    I went to see a therapist. I said, "I'm not sure if I'm a man or a woman."

    He said, "OK. Just pull your pants down for me."

    "No!" I exclaimed.

    He told me, "You're a woman."


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    I can remember when I was a kid my mom could go to the grocery store with two bucks and come back with a big bag of potatoes, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three half glallons of milk, 3 dozen eggs and a package of tea. You sure can't do that any more.

    Security cameras have made life impossible!


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    I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office.

    Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.


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    If Pulp Fiction was made today.




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    Last night I had a salad for dinner.

    It was a fruit salad.

    It had grapes. Lots of grapes.

    It was wine.


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    The closest I ever got to a gay experience is that one time I accidentally kissed a feminist.


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    It's National Cat day.

    In China that comes with a side of rice.

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    What's worse than a computer virus?




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    Frankly autocorrect, I'm getting sick of your shirt!


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    I am so jealous of my son! He has the coolest dad ever!


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    Ever since I painted my car, for some weird reason all of the pedestrians get outta my way!



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 550
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:52 am

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 680
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:16 pm

    Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 587
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:37 am

    Laughing

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