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    When is National Penguin Day?

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    sinister_midget
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    When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:20 pm

    I woke up this morning beside myself with joy!

    I think I forgot to take my schizophrenia medicine.


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    On November 4 Antifa is going to start a revolution.

    Don't get caught off guard!



    (Coincidentally, 4 days later, as though they already know the outcome of the revolution, people across America are planning to screech loudly and uselessly at the sky.)


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    Imagine how bad it would be if Islam wasn't a peaceful religion!


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    I went to see a therapist. I said, "I'm not sure if I'm a man or a woman."

    He said, "OK. Just pull your pants down for me."

    "No!" I exclaimed.

    He told me, "You're a woman."


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    I can remember when I was a kid my mom could go to the grocery store with two bucks and come back with a big bag of potatoes, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three half glallons of milk, 3 dozen eggs and a package of tea. You sure can't do that any more.

    Security cameras have made life impossible!


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    I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office.

    Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.


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    If Pulp Fiction was made today.




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    Last night I had a salad for dinner.

    It was a fruit salad.

    It had grapes. Lots of grapes.

    It was wine.


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    The closest I ever got to a gay experience is that one time I accidentally kissed a feminist.


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    It's National Cat day.

    In China that comes with a side of rice.

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    What's worse than a computer virus?




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    Frankly autocorrect, I'm getting sick of your shirt!


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    I am so jealous of my son! He has the coolest dad ever!


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    Ever since I painted my car, for some weird reason all of the pedestrians get outta my way!



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    Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore it.
    -- Thomas Sowell

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    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  Guest on Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:52 am

    Very Happy:D:D:D
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    Psycho144

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:16 pm

    Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 71
    Location : Texas

    Re: When is National Penguin Day?

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:37 am

    Laughing

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