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    Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1977
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:48 pm

    Guess he got the raw end of the deal. Like everybody who deals with that bunch.



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    DOCTOR: "I'm sorry to tell you this, sir. But your wife only has about 5 hours to live."

    ME: "No need to feel sorry, doc. I've lived with her for 20 years. I think I can manage another 5 hours."

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    You know your girlfriend's fat when she fits into your wife's clothes!

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    When women get to a certain age, they start accumulating cats.

    Now I understand what they mean by many paws.

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    I knew there was probably a scientific connection.



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    My lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.

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    WIFE: "You're not laying around all night watching football!"

    Who says women don't make good comedians?

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    I don't get along with my father because he's an old-fashioned racist.

    Whereas I'm a modern, trendy racist.

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    I love Chinese food as much as the next guy. But you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

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    Q: Why don't Arabs take their wives to soccer games?
    A: They jump the fence and eat the grass.

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    A survey said 90% of men inflate the number of their sex partners.

    The other 10% inflate their sex partners.

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    In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird.

    Now the world is weird, so they take Prozac to make it normal.

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    I have a friend named Jaydee. But I call him JD because I don't have all day.

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    My wife wanted a cat. I don't really like cats, so we compromised.

    We now have 3 cats.

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    Last night I couldn't find the thing to peel the potatoes. So I asked the kids where it is.

    Apparently she left me last week.

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    Where does virgin wool come from?

    Ugly sheep.

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    In case you wondered where all the rest of the money for Haiti relief went after Chelsea Hubbell's wedding was paid off:



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    I bet.



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    I don't trust kids.

    One time I got in touch with my inner child. Now I can't go within 1000 feet of a school.

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    My wife is a heavy drinker. She has 2 Bicardis a week and weighs 340 pounds.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 594
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:56 pm

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 479
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:03 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:17 am