New Board

For refugees from MyWay and Tek Board II, and for anyone else wishing to participate.


    Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Share
    avatar
    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 3012
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:48 pm

    Guess he got the raw end of the deal. Like everybody who deals with that bunch.



    ----------

    DOCTOR: "I'm sorry to tell you this, sir. But your wife only has about 5 hours to live."

    ME: "No need to feel sorry, doc. I've lived with her for 20 years. I think I can manage another 5 hours."

    ----------

    You know your girlfriend's fat when she fits into your wife's clothes!

    ----------

    When women get to a certain age, they start accumulating cats.

    Now I understand what they mean by many paws.

    ----------

    I knew there was probably a scientific connection.



    ----------

    My lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.

    ----------

    WIFE: "You're not laying around all night watching football!"

    Who says women don't make good comedians?

    ----------

    I don't get along with my father because he's an old-fashioned racist.

    Whereas I'm a modern, trendy racist.

    ----------

    I love Chinese food as much as the next guy. But you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

    ----------

    Q: Why don't Arabs take their wives to soccer games?
    A: They jump the fence and eat the grass.

    ----------

    A survey said 90% of men inflate the number of their sex partners.

    The other 10% inflate their sex partners.

    ----------

    In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird.

    Now the world is weird, so they take Prozac to make it normal.

    ----------

    I have a friend named Jaydee. But I call him JD because I don't have all day.

    ----------

    My wife wanted a cat. I don't really like cats, so we compromised.

    We now have 3 cats.

    ----------

    Last night I couldn't find the thing to peel the potatoes. So I asked the kids where it is.

    Apparently she left me last week.

    ----------

    Where does virgin wool come from?

    Ugly sheep.

    ----------

    In case you wondered where all the rest of the money for Haiti relief went after Chelsea Hubbell's wedding was paid off:



    ----------

    I bet.



    ----------

    I don't trust kids.

    One time I got in touch with my inner child. Now I can't go within 1000 feet of a school.

    ----------

    My wife is a heavy drinker. She has 2 Bicardis a week and weighs 340 pounds.


    _________________
    The American Dream is to be Donald Trump.
    -- Barack Hussein Obama
    avatar
    Psycho144

    Posts : 773
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:56 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  Guest on Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:03 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

    Sponsored content

    Re: Saturday night's alright for fighting. But the wife's at work.

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:21 pm