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    In honor of the beginning of the Hillary Clinton "Every Excuse Except Why It Really Happened" book tour

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    sinister_midget
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    In honor of the beginning of the Hillary Clinton "Every Excuse Except Why It Really Happened" book tour

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:26 pm

    Sometimes to impress girls I use big words that I don't fully understand in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

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    But that's different!



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    So, Marvel comics will introduce a female Muslim superhero who can fly.

    Good idea! She's not allowed to drive.

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    EXCLUSIVE: Photo discovered of Hillary Clinton sitting for a portrait painting that she intended to place in the Oval Office.



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    You know, since it looks like DOJ doesn't have the heart (guts?) to prosecute Mrs. Bill Clinton, I think POTUS should try to find a way to mend fences with her.

    I suggest making her the new ambassador to Libya.

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    My blond girlfriend beamed at me when she announced she finished the puzzle she'd been working on after only 6 months.

    "The box says 2-4 years!"

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    I guess the hurricane hit Florida pretty hard.



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    Hurricane Irma went through a trailer park in Florida. It's estimated that it left $1.5 million in improvements in its wake.

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    Septermber 11 is the anniversary of one of the most horrific events known to man: The birth of rapper Ludacris.

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    Maybe one day you will, too!



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    I only drink for two reasons:

    1. the wife left me
    2. the wife didn't leave me

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    Scientific proof.



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    The first time I asked a woman to make love to me my hands were sweating and shaking uncontrollably.

    I'd never pointed a gun at anyone before.

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    Marvel comics really is going to introduce a female Muslim superhero.

    Her kryptonite is a bar of soap.

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    The world's role model.



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    She wears my t-shirt to bed. She wears my jacket when she's cold. She'll even wear my boxers from time-to-time.

    But when I wear her panties just one time, I have "serious mental issues" and have "overstepped my boundaries."

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    The internet is an amazing thing! One minute I'm at work, looking at random pages just to pass the time. The next minute I'm home, looking for a new job.

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    Who wore it better?



    If she only had a brain.

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    They tell me I'm gullible.

    I'll take their word for it.

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    What's the difference between a primary school, a brothel and a goat farm?

    Nothing according to Muslims.

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    After her last venture Mrs. Clinton found one volume simply wasn't enough to explain everything. So the next round will be a series of releases helping to clarify why she lost the 2016 presidential election.



    Upon its public release, if a group will commit to buying at least 100 copies of the series (currently estimated to go for $1000 for each set), Mrs. Clinton agrees to charge only $200,000 per book tour event instead of the usual $250,000.

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    I'm supposed to meet a blind date at Starbucks. She said she'd wear Uggs, a Northface jacket and yoga pants.

    I've been her 15 minutes. I have her narrowed down to 47 girls.

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    A terrorist's wife blew herself up outside a Jewish temple in Paris.

    Her grade school shut down for a day out of respect.

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    Two can live as cheap as one. For half as long.

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    Schools need to teach sign language so this kind of ignorance doesn't spread!



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    Is there another word for synonym?

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    My wife said she was going to train the dog.

    2 months and it looks like she succeeded admirably. Now the dog eats and sits on the sofa all day.

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    What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

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    Any day now.....



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell

      Current date/time is Sun Sep 24, 2017 9:40 pm