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    Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2217
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:57 pm

    Gosh! Why didn't I think of that? I feel like such an idiot!



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    If dentists make their money off of people with bad teeth, why should I use a toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend?

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    It seems like water solves everything.

    Thirsty? Take a drink of water. Need to clean your face? Use water. Tired of your wife? Hold her down under the water.

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    And your friends (mostly a lot of people you never met in your life) will get really mad if you don't "like" it within 5 seconds.



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    I just bought a top of the line Rolls Royce. It's sweet!

    But the money I had wasn't enough to hire a driver.

    So I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!

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    Parenting is such a joy!



    But they blow up so fast.

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    I'm hosting an African-themed party next weekend.

    We won't have any food and the drinks are twelve miles away.

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    I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos!

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    OK. But what if I get aborted before I can use it?



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    My wife is totally against adultery. So is my girlfriend.

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    Looks like all of that "love trumps hate" stuff is working.



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    My shrink told me time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him.

    Now we wait.

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    The first sign of old age is when your wife starts trusting you.

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    I was informed that this is probably the back cover for her next book.



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    According to serving suggestions, I'm a family of five.

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    A teacher was telling her class about whales. She said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human. She said the whale is large, but its throat is very small.

    One little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human.

    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I'll ask Jonah."

    The teacher, getting tired of this, asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

    The girl replied, "Then you ask him."

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    Starring in the new Korean TV show, "Bus"



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    This may be the beer talking. But I really, really, really, really like beer.

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    I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name , or how you met, or why they're dead.

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    My dog is only 11, so he never heard of them.



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    Global warming:


    2006: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!" 
    2007: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!"
    2008: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!"
    2009: "Any minute now!"
    2010: "I mean it!"
    2011: 
    2012: 
    2013: 
    2014: 
    2015: 
    2016: 
    2017: "Told you so!" 

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    Either this is Nevada or cops haven't seen it yet.



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    I talked my son out of having a transgender operation. That was a near miss!

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    My girlfriend went out and bought a dominatrix outfit. More commonly known as a wedding dress.

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    I guess I missed this story.



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    If you're still stuck in Florida:



    I wanted to ask the homeowner about it. But he was pretty busy at the time.



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 627
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Sep 10, 2017 3:41 pm

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 505
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:37 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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    Re: Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

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