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    Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

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    sinister_midget
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    Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:57 pm

    Gosh! Why didn't I think of that? I feel like such an idiot!



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    If dentists make their money off of people with bad teeth, why should I use a toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend?

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    It seems like water solves everything.

    Thirsty? Take a drink of water. Need to clean your face? Use water. Tired of your wife? Hold her down under the water.

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    And your friends (mostly a lot of people you never met in your life) will get really mad if you don't "like" it within 5 seconds.



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    I just bought a top of the line Rolls Royce. It's sweet!

    But the money I had wasn't enough to hire a driver.

    So I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!

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    Parenting is such a joy!



    But they blow up so fast.

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    I'm hosting an African-themed party next weekend.

    We won't have any food and the drinks are twelve miles away.

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    I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos!

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    OK. But what if I get aborted before I can use it?



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    My wife is totally against adultery. So is my girlfriend.

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    Looks like all of that "love trumps hate" stuff is working.



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    My shrink told me time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him.

    Now we wait.

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    The first sign of old age is when your wife starts trusting you.

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    I was informed that this is probably the back cover for her next book.



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    According to serving suggestions, I'm a family of five.

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    A teacher was telling her class about whales. She said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human. She said the whale is large, but its throat is very small.

    One little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human.

    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I'll ask Jonah."

    The teacher, getting tired of this, asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

    The girl replied, "Then you ask him."

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    Starring in the new Korean TV show, "Bus"



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    This may be the beer talking. But I really, really, really, really like beer.

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    I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name , or how you met, or why they're dead.

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    My dog is only 11, so he never heard of them.



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    Global warming:


    2006: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!" 
    2007: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!"
    2008: "Hurricanes are going to be worse and more frequent!"
    2009: "Any minute now!"
    2010: "I mean it!"
    2011: 
    2012: 
    2013: 
    2014: 
    2015: 
    2016: 
    2017: "Told you so!" 

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    Either this is Nevada or cops haven't seen it yet.



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    I talked my son out of having a transgender operation. That was a near miss!

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    My girlfriend went out and bought a dominatrix outfit. More commonly known as a wedding dress.

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    I guess I missed this story.



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    If you're still stuck in Florida:



    I wanted to ask the homeowner about it. But he was pretty busy at the time.



    _________________
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    -- Barack Hussein Obama
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 760
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Sep 10, 2017 3:41 pm

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    Re: Harvey and Irama, sittin' in a tree

    Post  Guest on Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:37 am

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