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    Time for an illegal hurricane Jose edition

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 3014
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    Time for an illegal hurricane Jose edition

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:00 pm

    My wife found out I was cheating when she found the letters I was hiding.

    She swears she'll never play Scrabble with me again.

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    Bet you never knew this is what you're pets do when they get together!



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    Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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    How come hurricanes only have two genders?

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    No matter how nice it is, never, ever compliment a woman's moustache.

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    Who said Kathy Griffin would never work again?



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    My wife asked, "Are you even listening to me?"

    What an odd way to start a conversation.

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    Why do drivers ed classes in redneck schools only use the car on Monday, Wednesday and Friday?

    On Tuesday and Thursday it's used for sex ed class.

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    I just came up with a new perfume made of holy water: Eau My God.

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    Uh oh, they're onto us!



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    I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

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    Look what my food is doing to yours!



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    I had dinner once with the world chess champion.

    It took him 8 minutes to pass the salt.

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    To help working mothers in China, a company is providing "breast milk couriers" as a service.

    The courier takes the milk from the factory where the mother is employed and delivers it to the factory where the baby works.

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    I got so drunk last night that I don't know if I found some keys or lost a car.

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    Graduation day at Liberal Training camp.



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    If Kim Jong-un wants to test an H-bomb tipped missile against the west and help with the war on ISIS as well, I can give him the coordinates to Dearborn.

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    I went to a new doctor the other day. I told him I've suffered from kleptomania for years and nothing seemed to help.

    "Are you taking anything now?" he asked.

    "Yes," I said. "Your wallet."

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    I saw they want to raise the drinking age in West Virginia to 32. Something about keeping alcohol out of high schools.

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    After Harvey finally cleared out of Texas, a reporter asked a lady how many churches had their doors open to people during the storm. The lady replied that she had no idea because she eats at Popeye's.

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    For 8 years if I disagreed with the president I was racist.

    Now if I agree with the president I'm racist.

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    I don't remember what I'm supposed to do!

    My wife's face is drooping on one side, she can't raise her arms, her speech is slurred!

    Wait, I just remembered. Divorce her!

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    Why doesn't the word "pedophile" mean "lover of feet"?

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    The trials and tribulations of being anti-fascist!



    Last edited by sinister_midget on Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:58 pm; edited 1 time in total


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    Re: Time for an illegal hurricane Jose edition

    Post  Guest on Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:27 pm

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    Psycho144

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 78

    Re: Time for an illegal hurricane Jose edition

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:34 pm

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