New Board

For refugees from MyWay and Tek Board II, and for anyone else wishing to participate.


    It's not Friday, and it's not the 13th

    Share
    avatar
    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 2899
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    It's not Friday, and it's not the 13th

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:06 pm

    I was bullied in school for my appearance. Every time I made one.

    ----------

    For those who missed it due to bad weather, working, or just weren't in line to view the event, here's what the totaled Eclipse looked like:



    ----------

    I spent good money on a waffle iron and they STILL come out wrinkled!

    ----------

    The school called today and said, "Your son has been telling us lies."

    I told them, "Must be good ones. I ain't got any kids."

    ----------

    Dwarfism: It's a growing problem.

    ----------

    Now in the Fourth Edition



    ----------

    There was a time when, if you said a man was abroad, you meant he was overseas.

    ----------

    The article I found accompanying this said they surveyed 247,000 Venezuelans.



    Bernie Sanders was there that day. He said "Yes."

    ----------

    The wife was mad at me earlier and smashed me in the face with a bottle of Omega 3 tablets.

    Injuries weren't bad. Mostly super fish oil.

    ----------

    I saw two grade school kids having a fight this morning. As an adult I stepped in.

    Neither of them stood a chance.

    ----------

    I launched a one man counter demonstration in the kitchen today.

    Decided to finally stand up to my wife supremacist!

    ----------

    NEWSWEEK: Is your baby racist?

    Well I certainly hope so after all of the work I put in!

    ----------

    Democrats reliving their youth vicariously through their children.



    ----------

    Facebook's only purpose is to let me know some girl I don't konw, never cared about or can't recall just turned 64.

    ----------

    Dear love of my life,



    ----------

    What's the difference between a group of Syrian school girls and a group of ISIS soldiers?

    Don't ask me I just fly the drone.

    ----------

    A lamb follows Mary to school and they write a nursery rhyme.

    But when I follow her.....

    ----------

    I'm guessing the Chinese don't like buffaloes. And they seem to really despise potatoes!



    ----------

    I'm getting fed up with the hypocrisy!

    Doctors give kids drugs they're heroes. But when I do it.....

    ----------

    I always wondered how long forever is. Looking at Facebook I've figured out it's 2 to 4 weeks.

    ----------

    My daughter has Bieber Fever. I believe the medical name for it is Down's Syndrome.

    ----------

    How long will BLM and ANTIFA let this stand??



    ----------

    I heard they're going to pass death penalty laws for terrorists soon.

    I bet those suicide bombers are messing their britches right now.

    ----------

    I walked past a guy with a sign that said, "Someday this may be you."

    So I put the $5 back in my packet in case he's right.

    ----------

    As a person of Irish descent it's difficult for me to figure out if I'm alcoholic or patriotic.

    ----------

    My flat-chested wife and I went to see a marriage counselor. He asked us what the problem was.

    I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

    ----------

    My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me and asked if I'm an optimist or a pessimst.

    I drank the water and told him I'm a problem solver.

    ----------

    When you have a winning strategy:





    ----------

    First woman on the moon:

    "Houston we have a problem."
    What?
    "Nevermind."
    What is the problem?
    "Nothing."
    Please tell us what's wrong.
    "You know what the problem is!"

    ----------

    "i before e"

    Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

    WEIRD.


    _________________
    The American Dream is to be Donald Trump.
    -- Barack Hussein Obama

      Current date/time is Sat Jun 23, 2018 5:33 am