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    It can't happen here.

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2167
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    It can't happen here.

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Aug 20, 2017 8:32 pm

    Two guys go to the golf course to play 18 holes. One of them is about to chip onto the green when he sees a funeral procession pass the course.

    He stops in mid-swing, takes off his cap and bows his head in prayer.

    His friend says, "That is the most touching thing I've seen. You truly are a kind man."

    As the man prepares to swing, he says, "Yeah. We were married for 35 years."

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    There'd probably be a lot more cases closed if these people didn't clam up so much.



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    Every day, just around lunchtime, just as she's finishing that second bottle of booze, I say a little prayer:

    Thank you, Lord, she's not the president!

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    Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

    A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

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    Let me know if you need my address.



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    Black people who were never slaves are fighting white people who were never Nazis over confederate statues erected by Democrats who can't stand their own history any more.

    Damned Trump!

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    What do you get if you cross a Muslim and a capitalist?

    No more jokes about the profit.

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    People claim all Muslims are rapists and pedophiles. Which isn't true.

    Some of them are women and children.

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    My two-year-old pooped on the potty for the first time today. I'm pretty sure that qualifies her to teach gender studies at a prestigious university.



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    I was stationed in Korea and learned to cook a few things there. I decided I'd make a dish I learned over there for my wife today.

    My son spoiled the surprise when he let the cat out of the bag.

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    Well, if this isn't white privilege, I don't know what is!

    Opie knew his dad! Tear it down! When will this oppression end?



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    I got a notice in the mail yesterday about my 40th high school reunion.

    I wrote back and told them that if I haven't contacted them in 40 years there's probably a reason.

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    An old man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar, sits next to an attractive woman and says, "Do I come here often?"

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    So that's how it happens!



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    What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

    A lot of space.

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    Ingenious! I wonder why nobody thought of this before.



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    I'm headed to the gym

    I'm not bragging. I just wanted to let somebody know where to send the ambulance.

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    When will this madness end??



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    And the pièce de résistance: These are the kinds of upstanding people our overlords believe we should import to make us better off culturally.

    Fifteen Moroccan Teens Treated for Rabies After Having Sex with Local Donkey


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell

      Current date/time is Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:55 pm