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    Another Monday!

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2538
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 65
    Location : Home

    Another Monday!

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Jul 17, 2017 8:09 am

    'Sorry' seems to be the hardest word to say.

    Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel.'

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    Which is straighter?

    It's up for a vote. Make yours count!




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    I'm waiting for the AMA to declare "investigating Hillary Clinton" as a leading cause of death.

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    9 out of 10 dermatologists agree that towels are the leading cause of dry skin.

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    Got herself a shirt.



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    If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words?

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    Sarah Palin caught grief for saying she could see Russia from her house.

    The same people who gave it to her are now seeing Russia everywhere.

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    From sleepin' wit da fishes?



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    I was talking to my Muslim neighbor.

    "Your wife wears a burka. Your three daughters wear burkas. Doesn't it get a little confusing sometimes?"

    He said, "Yes, of course. Last week I went upstairs in the night and accidentally had sex with my wife."

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    A man called the hotel manager.

    He said, "Come up quickly, my wife and I had a fight! Now she wants to jump out the window!"

    The manager replied, "Sir this is a personal matter and we can't get involved. I can call sec..."

    The man interrupted, "No! This is a maintenance issue. The window won't open!"

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    I have a confession. After all these years my conscience is so bad I can't sleep at night!

    It was me. I let the dogs out.

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    I just saw a poor old woman fall over and knock herself out.

    At least I think she was poor. She only had $5 on her.

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    Exercise can add years to your life.

    I just ran down the driveway to the mailbox and I feel like I'm 89.

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    Thought I might take a trip to Europe.

    Then again.....



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    With all of the "suicides" by people associated with the Clintons, maybe they should start writing their "suicide" notes on Clinton stationary.

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    About time somebody did this! Now maybe the snowflakes and SJWs will finally understand.



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    My mother-in-law came over for dinner last night. When we sat down it didn't take her long to start moaning.

    "Why is the dog sitting there staring at me?"

    I told her, "Because you're using his plate."


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell

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    Re: Another Monday!

    Post  Guest on Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:47 am

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    Psycho144

    Posts : 704
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Another Monday!

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:44 pm

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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 611
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Another Monday!

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Jul 18, 2017 6:50 am

    Laughing

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    Re: Another Monday!

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