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    Two days before the day after tomorrow

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1883
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Jul 10, 2017 6:30 pm

    My father told my son that kids his age rely too much on technology. My son said, "No, you do," and pulled the plug on his life support.

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    It always seemed that way to me, too.



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    COP: Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?

    ME: No. I'm just as confused as you are.

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    *sitting at a nice restaurant on a first date*

    ME: "So, what kind of work do you do?"

    SHE: "Well, I teach gender studies at my local col....."

    ME:





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    Don't get me wrong, I like Chinese food. But I'll be damned if they can convince me that a chicken fried this rice.

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    Now that just about every person on the planet has a camera on them and can take a picture instantly, I wonder where all of the UFOs got off to.

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    All furnishings come with preinstalled brown stains.



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    I sat down with my son this morning. "I think it's time I tell you about the facts of life, son."

    He replied, "Dad! I'm 18! I already know all about sex!"

    "No," I said. "I mean getting a job, paying rent."

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    The worst thing about parallel parking are the witnesses.

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    Why is it that you never hear about anybody being the right amount of whelmed?

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    Two lepers were playing poker. One threw his hand in. The other laughed his head off.

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    Looks like some sort of secret society!



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    What wears glass slippers and weighs 4 tons?

    Cinderelephant.

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    BREAKING: TARGET OF MASSIVE INTERNATIONAL MANHUNT CAPTURED



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    Little known fact!

    Did you know you can fly into and out of any airport in the world without announcing it on Facebook?

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    I went to a nude beach today, and boy howdy did I get a lot of attention from the ladies! I could just FEEL them dressing me with their eyes!

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    Aha!!



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 470
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Jul 10, 2017 8:02 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 521
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:35 am

    Laughing
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 578
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Jul 11, 2017 10:41 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:23 pm