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    Two days before the day after tomorrow

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1573
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  sinister_midget on Mon Jul 10, 2017 6:30 pm

    My father told my son that kids his age rely too much on technology. My son said, "No, you do," and pulled the plug on his life support.

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    It always seemed that way to me, too.



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    COP: Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?

    ME: No. I'm just as confused as you are.

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    *sitting at a nice restaurant on a first date*

    ME: "So, what kind of work do you do?"

    SHE: "Well, I teach gender studies at my local col....."

    ME:





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    Don't get me wrong, I like Chinese food. But I'll be damned if they can convince me that a chicken fried this rice.

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    Now that just about every person on the planet has a camera on them and can take a picture instantly, I wonder where all of the UFOs got off to.

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    All furnishings come with preinstalled brown stains.



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    I sat down with my son this morning. "I think it's time I tell you about the facts of life, son."

    He replied, "Dad! I'm 18! I already know all about sex!"

    "No," I said. "I mean getting a job, paying rent."

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    The worst thing about parallel parking are the witnesses.

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    Why is it that you never hear about anybody being the right amount of whelmed?

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    Two lepers were playing poker. One threw his hand in. The other laughed his head off.

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    Looks like some sort of secret society!



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    What wears glass slippers and weighs 4 tons?

    Cinderelephant.

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    BREAKING: TARGET OF MASSIVE INTERNATIONAL MANHUNT CAPTURED



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    Little known fact!

    Did you know you can fly into and out of any airport in the world without announcing it on Facebook?

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    I went to a nude beach today, and boy howdy did I get a lot of attention from the ladies! I could just FEEL them dressing me with their eyes!

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    Aha!!



    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 404
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  Joencalif2 on Mon Jul 10, 2017 8:02 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 451
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:35 am

    Laughing
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 499
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Two days before the day after tomorrow

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Jul 11, 2017 10:41 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:42 am