New Board

For refugees from MyWay and Tek Board II, and for anyone else wishing to participate.


    It could be worse. I could be CNN!

    Share
    avatar
    sinister_midget
    Admin

    Posts : 1871
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    It could be worse. I could be CNN!

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:53 pm

    Seems reasonable.


    ----------

    Why do women have to put a label on everything?

    Couldn't we just be two people spending some time together?

    Oh, no! I have to be her "stalker."

    ----------

    I was on the train this morning when I accidentally walked in on a girl using the bathroom. I apologized and quickly closed the door.

    "Would you get the hell out of here?" she asked.

    ----------

    I told my ex-wife I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help.

    So I hired a hitman.

    ----------

    No wonder ISIS is always so mad about everything!



    ----------

    If Bruce Jenner goes missing, will his picture be on a carton of Half and Half?

    ----------

    It's amazing how well couples really know each other!



    ----------

    My sister talks about sex online with people she doesn't know. She thinks.....

    ----------

    I had a vasectomy thinking my wife wouldn't get pregnant. But it looks like all it does is change the color of the baby.

    ----------

    Sometimes I go out and socialize with people. I call those times alibis.

    ----------

    Probably a good idea.



    ----------

    My wife is wearing one of those skirts where I can see her butt poking out. Which I'd probably find sexy if it wasn't knee-length.

    ----------

    I hate people who take everything literally. Like my ex-wife. She did take everything, literally.

    ----------

    My ex-wife sent me a text today. "Happy anniversary!"

    I sent back, "Best one I've had in years."

    ----------

    You can tell when you're officially old by falling down. If people laugh, you're still young. If they look scared and rush to help, you're old.

    ----------

    My relationship with my ex-wife was very psychological. She's psycho and I'm logical.

    ----------

    I need beer money. But I imagine I captured the neighbor's cat and turned it in for the reward too many times already.

    ----------

    If a boyband has 5 members, statistically one of them will possibly be straight.

    ----------

    How come when it's a human it's an abortion, but when it's a chicken it's an omelet?

    ----------

    I went to an antique fair this morning and picked up a vintage German microwave.

    It seats six.

    ----------

    "Alexa, turn on CNN. I want to hear the news."

    "Sorry. You'll have to pick one or the other."

    ----------

    "This is CNN"




    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
    avatar
    Psycho144

    Posts : 575
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: It could be worse. I could be CNN!

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Jul 08, 2017 9:39 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
    avatar
    Joencalif2

    Posts : 469
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It could be worse. I could be CNN!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:57 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:34 am