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    Happy 2 days before Independence Day!

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1888
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Happy 2 days before Independence Day!

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Jul 02, 2017 12:13 am

    My wife asked, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

    "No, not at all," I replied.

    "Oh, good," she said. "As long as I don't look ridiculous."

    "What? Hang on," I said. "You didn't ask me that!"

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    My wife finally gave in last night and fulfilled my wildest fantasy!

    She left.

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    Somebody could probably make a Broadway play out of this.



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    I read Stephen Hawking may be getting a Nobel for discovering a way out of a black hole. The article caption read "Is there anything this guy cannot do?"

    Hell yes! HE CAN'T WALK!

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    If you go shopping at Walmart and nobody stares at you as you walk by, you're one of them.

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    Probably one of those consumer safety things government always requires companies to add.



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    US conservatives: Wonder Woman "not American enough" because her costume isn’t red, white and blue.

    And if she was really American, her costume would be size XXL.

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    So it turns out being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

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    I hope to one day go and not see them for myself!



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    Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

    Because he's married.

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    This is how it starts. Then one day you wake up and Charlton Heston is on the beach screaming at the Statue of Liberty.



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    With more and more self-driving vehicles coming out, it won't be long before there are country songs about how your truck left you.

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    Q: What do you call political correctness when it lacks basic logic and is just thinly-veiled discrimination and bigotry towards men and white people?

    A: Political correctness.

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    I bought my mother-in-law a chair for her 87th birthday. But my wife won't let me plug it in.

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    Sunblock SPF400.



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 583
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Happy 2 days before Independence Day!

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Jul 02, 2017 9:52 am

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:43 pm