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    In today's news:

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1871
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    In today's news:

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Jun 09, 2017 12:18 am

    Let's just put an end to these crazy stories once and for all!



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    I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables. He didn't believe me and told me to prove it.

    So I pushed him off the balcony.

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    Marvel announced they're going to introduce a new female Muslim superhero who flies.

    Sorry. WITH flies.

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    The inhumanity!



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    I went to see Wonder Woman last night. Man was I ever disappointed.

    Wonder Woman? I was expecting to see a movie about a woman who can parallel park and keeps to herself!

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    What do you call a 350 pound woman in a burka?

    A must slim.

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    Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?

    Don't laugh! It keeps the fish out!

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    I knew he had to have a good reason.



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    My mom always taught me, "Alcohol is your enemy."

    Jesus said, "Love your enemy."

    Case closed.

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    My friend's dog died the other day. So I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.

    Ingrate!

    She was furious about it! She asked, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

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    I read today that during a Ramadan celebration 800 Muslims were killed in a stampede.

    Fortunately for them the rest of the family escaped unharmed.

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    I thought he let her off the hook. Did he say something he shouldn't about Seth Rich?



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    My wife was breathless when she first met me.

    The Chinese had only poked one air hole in her crate.

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    I honestly can't remember the last time I made love to my wife. But I know it was at least 40 or 50 pounds ago.

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    Can't even make up his own story!



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    I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea!




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    Sometimes I feel bad making jokes about my wife around people who have never met her. I wish she'd do the same thing so I felt better.

    But she won't do it. She'll only make fun of my thinning hair, growing gut, aging face and absence of sex appeal around people who know both of us.


    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 469
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: In today's news:

    Post  Joencalif2 on Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:45 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:38 am