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    Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1576
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed May 24, 2017 10:51 pm

    An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.
    “Yes, how can I help?” asks St Peter.
    “I’m here to meet Jesus,” says the Indian man.
    St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Jesus, your cab is here!”

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    Poor victim!



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    The average of a pedophile's victim is 11 years. The average age of a pedophile is thirty six years.

    Which, coincidentally, is the average ages of a newlywed Muslim couple.

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    My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

    Perfect 10! Also imaginary.

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    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

    One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.

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    Facebook is crap. But it's the only form of stalking that doesn't violate my parole.

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    Why do Jewish people have big hands?

    So they can play "got your nose" with their kids.

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    "So, doctor, do I have cancer?"
    "Short answer, yes."
    "What's the long answer?"
    "Yeeeeeeeeesssssssss."

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    My Chinese neighbor suspects his wife's been cheating on him, as his newborn son has pale skin, blond hair, and big, round, blue eyes.

    "If there's one thing I know," he confided in me, "two Wongs don't make a white."

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    I'm sure it's unforgettable quality!



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    Alright then. Smoking will kill you. And bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.

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    I managed to quit smoking last week.

    But then I discovered I'm addicted to standing around outside in lousy weather.

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    The hardest day of my life was when I was 6 years old. My dad went out for cigarettes and never came back.

    I went the whole day without a smoke!

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    My wife yelled at me, "You weren't even listening to me just now, were you?"

    I thought, what a weird way to start a conversation.

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    Documents from the Vatican show why the church is protecting pedophiles.

    Last time they shunned a child molester he started Islam.

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    I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings.

    I'm a drunk. I go to parties.

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    My friend came to me. "What rhymes with orange?"

    I said, "No it doesn't."

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    With all of the hate speech going on it's nice to see somebody took the time to illustrate the real differences.



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    I don't mean to brag. But I just finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 12 minutes.

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    I've always wondered. How do blond twins tell each other apart?

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    Convenient. No need to take your eyes off the road.



    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 501
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu May 25, 2017 8:59 am

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    Joencalif2

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Thu May 25, 2017 11:09 am

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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 455
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  JJRobinson on Fri May 26, 2017 6:31 am

    Very Happy

      Current date/time is Tue Jul 25, 2017 3:29 pm