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    Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1883
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed May 24, 2017 10:51 pm

    An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.
    “Yes, how can I help?” asks St Peter.
    “I’m here to meet Jesus,” says the Indian man.
    St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Jesus, your cab is here!”

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    Poor victim!



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    The average of a pedophile's victim is 11 years. The average age of a pedophile is thirty six years.

    Which, coincidentally, is the average ages of a newlywed Muslim couple.

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    My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

    Perfect 10! Also imaginary.

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    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

    One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.

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    Facebook is crap. But it's the only form of stalking that doesn't violate my parole.

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    Why do Jewish people have big hands?

    So they can play "got your nose" with their kids.

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    "So, doctor, do I have cancer?"
    "Short answer, yes."
    "What's the long answer?"
    "Yeeeeeeeeesssssssss."

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    My Chinese neighbor suspects his wife's been cheating on him, as his newborn son has pale skin, blond hair, and big, round, blue eyes.

    "If there's one thing I know," he confided in me, "two Wongs don't make a white."

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    I'm sure it's unforgettable quality!



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    Alright then. Smoking will kill you. And bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.

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    I managed to quit smoking last week.

    But then I discovered I'm addicted to standing around outside in lousy weather.

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    The hardest day of my life was when I was 6 years old. My dad went out for cigarettes and never came back.

    I went the whole day without a smoke!

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    My wife yelled at me, "You weren't even listening to me just now, were you?"

    I thought, what a weird way to start a conversation.

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    Documents from the Vatican show why the church is protecting pedophiles.

    Last time they shunned a child molester he started Islam.

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    I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings.

    I'm a drunk. I go to parties.

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    My friend came to me. "What rhymes with orange?"

    I said, "No it doesn't."

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    With all of the hate speech going on it's nice to see somebody took the time to illustrate the real differences.



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    I don't mean to brag. But I just finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 12 minutes.

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    I've always wondered. How do blond twins tell each other apart?

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    Convenient. No need to take your eyes off the road.



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 578
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu May 25, 2017 8:59 am

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    Joencalif2

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  Joencalif2 on Thu May 25, 2017 11:09 am

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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 521
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?

    Post  JJRobinson on Fri May 26, 2017 6:31 am

    Very Happy

      Current date/time is Sat Sep 23, 2017 4:43 pm