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    It's Friday. Harrumph!

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    sinister_midget
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    It's Friday. Harrumph!

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Apr 28, 2017 11:29 am

    I don't think I'd like being a superhero. I'd go crazy always getting my cape caught in the car door!

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    Ahkmad and Saleem are both at the market. Saleem has five chickens, 2 goats and three pelts, but trades one chicken for a bag of flour from Ahkmad who has one donkey and 4 eggs.

    How many were killed in the blast?

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    What do you call an alien who swears a lot?
    An extra tourettestrial.

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    Some people count sheep.



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    What's an epileptic's least favorite superhero?

    The Flash.

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    I never knew I was ugly until I was kidnapped by aliens.

    "Are you going to probe me?"

    "Not tonight, I have a headache."

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    I really like warm weather for the short skirts and low tops.

    I don't care that some people call me gay!

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    It's handcuffs and bondage every night in the bedroom with my girlfriend, if you know what I mean.

    Otherwise she keeps trying to escape.

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    I have Diet Coke and Mentos in the house.

    Meaning my nuclear weapons program is about 10 years ahead of North Korea's.

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    I went to a super hero themed costume party the other night.

    "Who are you supposed to be?" asked my neighbor.

    "The Flash," I said as I quickly opened and closed my raincoat.

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    How can you tell the movie Independence Day was all fake?

    At no point did the US offer asylum and benefits to the aliens.

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    I used to be a conspiracy theorist. But then I heard what the government and aliens do to conspiracy theorists.

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    The day we get attacked by aliens is the day we realize there are mosques on other planets.

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    Life is like a box of chocolates.

    It ends faster for fat people.

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    I haven't seen a Facebook quiz in awhile. So I forgot which superhero I'm supposed to be.

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    I developed a new website. It's the antisocial network where you unfriend all the people in your life that you have to pretend to like. I've called it, Twofacebook.

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    Why did the blond keep empty beer bottles in the fridge?

    For people who don't drink.

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    "White Men Can't Jump"

    But we can get a taxi at 3 in the morning.

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    My wife is a keeper.

    Keeper away from the fridge.

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    My uncle was an alcoholic.

    He got hit by a bus one day. Lost so much blood his eyes cleared.

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    President Trump is putting so much pressure on Toys'Я'Us that North Korea's nuclear program is in jeopardy.

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    Today a man rang my doorbell and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

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    So, Marvel Comics will introduce a female Muslim superhero who can fly.

    Which is convenient since she's not allowed to drive.

    What's not clear is whether this is something she can do on her own, or it only kicks in when she's tossed from a roof.

    Rumor is as part of her repertoire of superpowers, she'll also have the ability to vote and have opinions. And her disguise will be a burka, which beats wearing a pair of glasses.

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    If they had a debate, I can imagine Dolph saying in his accent, "I will break you."




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    My transgender uncle is a superhero.

    We call him Aunt-Man

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    If Caitlyn Jenner was a superhero, what team would she be on?

    The Ex-Men.

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    I think when my dad died the world lost a major superhero.

    Not sure what he went by, but in the attic I found a white costume with a mask and hood.

    But I always knew he was somebody special. I even had my own name for him: The Invisible Man.

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    Speaking of superheroes, I saw a story about a movie being made where all of the crusaders sit around and gripe about how racist and sexist the world is.

    It's going to be called the Social-Justice League.

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    Also there will be a religious group of super crusaders. They're calling them A-Men.

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    Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.

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    In case you ever wondered.



    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
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    Joencalif2

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    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It's Friday. Harrumph!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Fri Apr 28, 2017 2:01 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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    Psycho144

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    Re: It's Friday. Harrumph!

    Post  Psycho144 on Fri Apr 28, 2017 5:01 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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    JJRobinson

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    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: It's Friday. Harrumph!

    Post  JJRobinson on Sat Apr 29, 2017 6:59 am

    Very Happy

      Current date/time is Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:39 pm