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    Must be Redneck Day or something

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 2027
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    Must be Redneck Day or something

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:30 pm

    How can you tell if a redneck is married?

    There are spit stains on both sides of his truck.

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    You ain't lyin'!



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    I laid on the ground to do a situp.

    I live here now.

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    How many rednecks does it take to eat a skunk?

    Two. One to eat it and one to watch for traffic.

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    Why didn't the redneck have any kids?

    Because he didn't have a sister. Yet.

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    A new survey says rednecks are more likely to cheat on their partners.

    It's a sad sign of the times when you can't even trust your own sister.

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    Cheaper than even SimpliSafe. But it does require minimal education.



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    A redneck went to the bank to open an account.

    The clerk asked, "Do you have any ID?"

    "About what?" asked the redneck.

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    How do you kill a redneck?

    Wait until he's in bed with his sister, then cut the brakes on his house.

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    Rumor is she bulked up trying to get the Barbie role.



    But Amy Schumer won it by a few pounds.



    (Sorry, camera zoom was as far out as it would go. Even suborbital spy cameras could only get about 2/3 the face.)

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    I got pulled over this morning and arrested for driving erratically. They took me in and performed a drug test. The test came back clean.

    My dealer has some explaining to do.

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    George Soros has warned that higher taxes could force him to lay off 17 Congressmen. Including John McCain and his best girl Lindsey Graham.

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.

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    Hey. It's normal for guys, okay?



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    Q: What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working?

    A: Slap her on the butt and tell her to get back to work.

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    To be fair, there are distinct advantages to living in a redneck family.

    For instance, only one member of the family needs to be tested for STDs.

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    The latest weapon in the arsenal against North Korea.



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    They seem to be slow learners.



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    Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion.

    Probably because Mexico has more aliens.

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    Whoa! I just came to!

    I must've passed out while holding my breath waiting for the left to disavow the Fresno shooter.

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    A redneck died and left his entire estate to his widow.

    Unfortunately she can't touch it until she turns 14.


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    Speaking of Barbie:



    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 599
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Must be Redneck Day or something

    Post  Psycho144 on Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:17 pm

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 483
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Must be Redneck Day or something

    Post  Joencalif2 on Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:31 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:01 am