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    Colonoscopy

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    JJRobinson

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    Colonoscopy

    Post  JJRobinson on Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:49 am

    I got one coming up Apr. 11th....a friend of mine told me about the one he had in San Francisco...


    Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy on a recommendation I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating.

    As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.

    "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," the nurse told me.

    "I haven't got an erection," I replied.

    "No, but I have," replied the nurse.

    Don't get a colonoscopy in San Francisco!
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    Joencalif2

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  Joencalif2 on Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:11 pm

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    Psycho144

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:34 pm

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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:02 pm

    True story.

    Last time I had a colonoscopy was in a clinic at a hospital. That was totally different from previous others where I was seen in an office someplace.

    When I came to after it was over and I started to sound a little bit coherent, the doctor walked in to tell me what they usually do afterward. But this time he didn't. (Also unlike previous times, my wife was sitting next to the bed.)

    He started going over things, then said, "Did anybody ever tell you you have a long colon?"

    Still goofy, I said, "I bet you say that to all the boys." That was when my wife hit me.

    After that what they did to me to get to where his scope wouldn't reach might have been worse than having a colonoscopy done in San Fransicko.


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    JJRobinson

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  JJRobinson on Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:32 am

    Wow....and the rest of the story??    Very Happy
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:06 am

    They took me to another place where I had to lay on a table on my side while they inflated me innards to do some scans. The doctor joked when he told me about it that I needed to make sure I found an elevator after it was over because I was going to be passing a lot of gas.

    Sounds easy enough. But the reality was it was extremely painful and I was wide awake the whole time. I had pain in places I don't think I'd ever felt anything before. All I'll say on how they did it is imagine how they would go about inflating somebody's colon and intestines. That should be plenty to understand what they had to do. As for pain, it felt like they released about half of one of those big helium tanks to do the inflation. I don't know how much they really used. And it wasn't helium. But I can tell you it was awful. It got worse as the minutes passed, too, and the gas shifted around to open up various places.

    Next time I need a real doctor. None of the others seemed to have a problem getting where they needed to, and I sure don't want to go through that again.


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    JJRobinson

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  JJRobinson on Wed Apr 05, 2017 1:05 pm

    Wow...I am glad you came thru it okay....Just a thought about the helium...If they used that, then would the sound of passing gas been a weird sound.... Very Happy  
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Apr 05, 2017 1:22 pm

    No it wasn't helium. I gave that as an example to give an idea of the feeling of expansion.


    Not sure what it was. But I sure know it wasn't laughing gas cuz I didn't find it the least bit funny!


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    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
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    Ladyelaine

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  Ladyelaine on Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:04 pm

    Carbon dioxide is what they use nowadays, less painful bloating afterwards than the old method of using room air.
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  sinister_midget on Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:10 pm

    If that's true then I'm sure glad they didn't use room air! Or helium!


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  Psycho144 on Wed Apr 05, 2017 5:07 pm

    I have had my share of them but nothing like that LOL


    The worst I'v had like that was them measuring my prostrate before lasering it out.


    I think they used a ball bat to measure and I cussed the nurse badly and I don't cuss.


    The surgery was nothing till I had to pee before they released me and boy did that burn, but nothing painfull like the ball bat.


    Had to go all the way to Indy just to recieve all the pain Pfthttttttttttttttttttttt !!!!!!
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    JJRobinson

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  JJRobinson on Thu Apr 06, 2017 6:55 am

    Dang...I hope I don't ever have to go thru Psycho...
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Apr 06, 2017 7:55 am

    So let me see if I have this straight.

    Don't go to SanFrisco for a colonoscopy because of shemales, don't go to Indianapolis to get a prostate lasering because they measure progress with a baseball bat, or if you go for a colonscopy and the conversation turns to how far up your insides your colon lives then run.

    Close?


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    Psycho144

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  Psycho144 on Thu Apr 06, 2017 8:29 am

    "snort"
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    JJRobinson

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    Re: Colonoscopy

    Post  JJRobinson on Fri Apr 07, 2017 6:49 am

    That's about it SM...haha


    I got all my supplies ready for Mon. prep...This time I got plenty of toilet paper...I wasn't prepared last time, and it aint fun running out of T.P. and having to use paper towels...Kinda rough on the ole behind...if ya know what I mean... Very Happy

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