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    It's April: Time for the fools!


    Posts : 2334
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:29 pm

    I saw my midget neighbor walking as I was going home today.

    "Hop in and I'll give you a lift, "I offered.

    "Screw you!" he shouted back.

    "Ingrate," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and kept walking.


    The 3 stages of sex after marriage:

    Try Weekly
    Try Weakly


    Please forgive me if I sometimes fail to be funny. Some of my best jokes were once stored on Hillary's hard drive.


    Remember this: Today is April Fools' Day – some of the things politicians say today and some of the things you see in the news today might not be true.


    My wife has turned into the kind of woman who will use sex to get some things done around the house.

    At least, that's what the plumber tells me.


    I remember the first time I slept with a Muslim woman. It was an endless barrage of surprises.

    For instance, I never realized how ticklish I was until meeting up with her goatee.


    Thanks for the geography lesson!


    Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian.

    They're not laughing now!


    My brother is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl collection. As far as I know he owns every single Beatles record except one.

    I think he needs Help!


    A priest had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

    As two nurses rushed him through the hospital on a gurney, he opened his eyes.

    "Am I in heaven?" he asked.

    "No," answered one nurse. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."


    Nobody knows how many feminists it takes to screw in a light bulb.

    Guess whose fault that is.

    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell

    Posts : 522
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sun Apr 02, 2017 12:07 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:19 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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    Re: It's April: Time for the fools!

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