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    It's April: Time for the fools!

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    sinister_midget
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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:29 pm

    I saw my midget neighbor walking as I was going home today.

    "Hop in and I'll give you a lift, "I offered.

    "Screw you!" he shouted back.

    "Ingrate," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and kept walking.

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    The 3 stages of sex after marriage:

    Tri-weekly
    Try Weekly
    Try Weakly

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    Please forgive me if I sometimes fail to be funny. Some of my best jokes were once stored on Hillary's hard drive.

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    Remember this: Today is April Fools' Day – some of the things politicians say today and some of the things you see in the news today might not be true.

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    My wife has turned into the kind of woman who will use sex to get some things done around the house.

    At least, that's what the plumber tells me.

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    I remember the first time I slept with a Muslim woman. It was an endless barrage of surprises.

    For instance, I never realized how ticklish I was until meeting up with her goatee.

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    Thanks for the geography lesson!



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    Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian.

    They're not laughing now!

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    My brother is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl collection. As far as I know he owns every single Beatles record except one.

    I think he needs Help!

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    A priest had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

    As two nurses rushed him through the hospital on a gurney, he opened his eyes.

    "Am I in heaven?" he asked.

    "No," answered one nurse. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."

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    Nobody knows how many feminists it takes to screw in a light bulb.

    Guess whose fault that is.


    _________________
    Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.
    (I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.)
    -- Thomas Jefferson
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 434
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sun Apr 02, 2017 12:07 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 540
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: It's April: Time for the fools!

    Post  Psycho144 on Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:19 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:14 pm