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    Not April Fool time just yet

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    sinister_midget
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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
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    Not April Fool time just yet

    Post  sinister_midget on Thu Mar 30, 2017 11:26 pm

    Chelsea's new book goes on sale soon!



    It's expected to be even more popular than her previous tome.



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    Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?

    They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back.

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    Do radical feminists get pissed off when men insist on paying the bill at the end of a date?

    Trick question! Radical feminists don't get asked out on dates

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    That's easy. The one on the left is a copycat.




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    Hollywood executives: Four more Transformers films to be released over the next decade. Unless our demands are met.

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    Why is it prohibited for lawyers to have sex with their clients?

    To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

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    Chelsea Clinton says she won't run for office. No comment yet on whether or not she will run in this year's Preakness.

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    Saudi Arabia finally loosens the laws, allowing women to drive for the first time!




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    I've decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on.

    This one was written in Topeka.

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    I was going to say a few words at my mother-in-law's funeral. But I found it to be one of the most difficult things I could ever do.

    I just couldn't stop laughing!

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    Leave 'em alone. They're doing a great job all by themselves!




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    I just watched 3 people jog by my window and it inspired me.

    All the motivation I needed to shut the curtains.

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    "Kicking ass and forgetting names!" - Alzheimer's Fight Club

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    With my BB gun




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    While I was on vacation in Spain I saw a sign: "ENGLISH SPEAKING DOCTOR"

    I thought, what a great idea! We should have those in America!

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    I took a trip in one of those driverless cars yesterday.

    Well, it was a normal car with my wife behind the wheel. But same thing.

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    Sorry. It's as real as the other one.




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    I think I first realized my drinking was out of control when the doctor referred me to a Bacardiologist.

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    I just arrived in St Louis to surprise my fiance.

    She's in Seattle. And the wedding's in an hour.

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    I bought some London Bridge jeans yesterday.

    Even with a belt they fall down.

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    I only drink on two occasion:

    1. when it's my birthday

    2. when it's not my birthday

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    I'm beginning to think some of my coworkers are gay. Every time I walk by a few of them I hear them whisper "What an ass!"

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    I can honestly tell you I'm thrilled that the government is building a big new housing project in my area that will become home to lots of Muslims and other minorities.

    I've been hired as a guard at the new prison.

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    My son asked me for an example of misplaced confidence for a paper he was working on. I told him it was his homework, so he should look it up.

    He called me in when he finished and asked if I thought this was a good enough example.




    He's either getting an "A" or an "F"


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 537
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: Not April Fool time just yet

    Post  JJRobinson on Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:31 am

    Very Happy
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 599
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: Not April Fool time just yet

    Post  Psycho144 on Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:38 am

    Very Happy Surprised
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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 483
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: Not April Fool time just yet

    Post  Joencalif2 on Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:09 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:08 am