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    A day without Obama is like a day without hemorrhoids

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    sinister_midget
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    A day without Obama is like a day without hemorrhoids

    Post  sinister_midget on Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:48 pm

    Just a slight misunderstanding.



    ----------

    Q: What does 1+1 equal?
    A: The number of actual genders.

    ----------

    Shia LeBouf couldn't keep his "He Will Not Divide Us" site safe in the US. So to keep the right-wing "haters" that he was always attacking away, he moved it to a museum in Liverpool, England. Where it lasted less than 24 hours before a masked person removed it and the live webcast was taken down by either Shia or the museum.

    Apparently no place is safe. He couldn't even leave it with like-minded ISIS to keep it safe since they may be bombed into SeventyTwoVirginLand any day now.

    But I had a thought. Maybe he could hide it with his movie career. Nobody has seen that for quite awhile.

    ----------

    The Secret Service has just released the identity of the most recent White House intruder.



    ----------

    Sheesh! Go to the animal shelter for a dog, and you're a saint. But go to the woman's shelter for a new girlfriend and everyone loses their minds!

    ----------

    I failed my biology exam yesterday. I was asked to name a parasite currently residing in the United States.

    Apparently "Muslims" wasn't the answer.

    ----------

    A Mosquito landed on my wife's face...

    Easiest decision of my life.

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    My wife was bleeding and the first aid book said to apply pressure. So I told her if she didn't stop bleeding right away she'd die.

    Didn't work.

    ----------

    Whatever happened to all the old cartoon characters?



    ----------

    What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

    The letter F.

    ----------

    Where do epileptic children go to eat?

    Little Seizures.

    ----------

    A man went into a library and asked the librarian for a book on suicide.

    She looked at him for several seconds, then asked, "Who's going to return it?"

    ----------

    When you lick the icing off of a cupcake, it becomes a muffin.

    Muffins are healthy.

    You're welcome.

    ----------

    I installed an ad blocker in my browser.

    The ads stopped, but something must be wrong with it. All of the local ladies that wanted to hook up with me have disappeared, too.

    ----------

    I never realized there was so much overlap.



    ----------

    I saw two guys wearing matching clothing. I asked them if they were gay.

    They arrested me.

    ----------

    Just because nobody complains, that doesn't mean the parachutes are perfect.

    ----------

    I was just walking into the back yard at the neighbor's house. Evidently he didn't know I was there, and he was just starting to tell his 15-year-old son a secret he'd been keeping.

    "Son, it's about time I told you an important thing I've held back from you for years. You're adopted."

    The boy looked astonished. "What? That's impossible! We look identical!"

    "Well," the father said, "that's because we're both Chinese."

    ----------

    You know you're good at sex when she tells her friends.
    And her family.
    And the police.


    Last edited by sinister_midget on Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:28 pm; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
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    Psycho144

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    Age : 77

    Re: A day without Obama is like a day without hemorrhoids

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:59 pm

    Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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    JJRobinson

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    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: A day without Obama is like a day without hemorrhoids

    Post  JJRobinson on Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:24 am

    Very Happy

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    Re: A day without Obama is like a day without hemorrhoids

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