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    This is how it's done

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1977
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    This is how it's done

    Post  sinister_midget on Fri Mar 24, 2017 10:33 pm

    My wife was nagging me again.

    "If you were half a man, you'd take the kids to the circus."

    "Wrong! If I was half a man, I'd be in the circus!"

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    The new logo



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    I decided to cook my wife something nice tonight. Just to show her how it's done.

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    Well, as long as I'm baring my soul... I must confess I thought Caitlyn Jenner was much prettier as a man.

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    A Mexican, an Arab and a redneck girl are in a bar drinking.

    The Mexican downs his drink, tosses the glass into the air and blasts it. "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same one twice," he says.

    Not to be outdone, the Arab downs his drink, tosses his glass in the air, pulls out his AK-47 and blows it to pieces. He says, "In the Arab world we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

    The redneck girl, smiles, downs her drink, tosses it in the air, catches it, whips out her sidearm and shoots the Mexican and Arab. Then she asks for a refill and say, "In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

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    It was just a matter of time.



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    Barbara Streisand says Trump-caused stress is making her fat.

    No word yet on what's making her stupid.

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    I finally made the decision today to turn off my wife's life support machine.

    I've been meaning to defrost that fridge for ages!

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    Trump signed a bill aimed at sending people to Mars.

    I still think building the wall would be cheaper.

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    The police just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the suspicious death of her husband.

    They spoke to her for less than a minute, then called in and said it was a suicide.

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    I had to stop going to parties. I always had a difficult time getting my fat, useless, pathetic wife to mingle.

    For some reason she has no self confidence.

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    Good thing they put up the warning!



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    I just went through the TV guide and there's nothing on but garbage again.

    So I think I'll ask the wife if she's up for an early headache.

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    My wife confronted me, "Are you having an affair?"

    I looked her in the eye and replied, "I'm not going to stand here and lie to you."

    So we sat down and I lied to her from the couch.


    _________________
    One of the most important reasons for studying history is that
    virtually every stupid idea that is in vogue today has been tried
    before and proved disastrous before, time and again.
    --  Thomas Sowell
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 534
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: This is how it's done

    Post  JJRobinson on Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:53 am

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    Psycho144

    Posts : 594
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: This is how it's done

    Post  Psycho144 on Sat Mar 25, 2017 11:56 am

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    Joencalif2

    Posts : 479
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 67
    Location : Riverside Ca

    Re: This is how it's done

    Post  Joencalif2 on Sat Mar 25, 2017 12:06 pm

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      Current date/time is Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:30 am