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    What do certified nurses, chocolate caramel, laughing and poultry all have in common? Today is their day nationally!

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    sinister_midget
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    Posts : 1627
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 64
    Location : Home

    What do certified nurses, chocolate caramel, laughing and poultry all have in common? Today is their day nationally!

    Post  sinister_midget on Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:57 pm

    A car salesman tried hard to sell me a Ferrari by telling me, "You can get any girl you want with this baby."

    Right. A van, some rope and some duct tape will do the same thing.

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    On St Patrick's Day I dropped the car off at the police station. I wanted to have a ride home the next day.

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    Hey! Hollywood!



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    A Zulu chief in Africa kept his throne tied up in the roof of his grass hut. One night it came loose and crushed him. Moral of the story is people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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    I walked into the police station and told the cop behind the window, "I stabbed my wife in the head 'cause she was watching CNN."

    The officer said, "That's awful!"

    "I know. That's why I stabbed her."

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    If you're like me, you have a bit of trouble deciding how to tell if someone is a nazi racist or  a victim. When that happens I find the following chart to be quite helpful.



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    Based on statistics the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style. The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

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    Women have said bras are the shackles of gender enslavement and burned them in opposition to this oppression.

    But even after this fight for freedom women still support laws requiring men to wear pants.

    Classic double standard!

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    Quick question if anybody knows the answer.

    How much of the 'No More Tears' shampoo do I have to feed this baby before he stops crying?

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    They say 'Live every day like it's your last.'

    So I spent the day deleting internet history.

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    Hillary said she's ready to come out of the woods.

    Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel are still missing.

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    In the middle of a really messy divorce, I decided suicide was the only option.

    I just need to talk her into it now.

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    Remember the time Michael Moore's phone was hacked and the hacker released Moore's sexy selfie?



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    LGBTQHIV+

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    If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
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    JJRobinson

    Posts : 480
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 70
    Location : Texas

    Re: What do certified nurses, chocolate caramel, laughing and poultry all have in common? Today is their day nationally!

    Post  JJRobinson on Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:44 am

    Very Happy
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    Psycho144

    Posts : 526
    Join date : 2016-08-26
    Age : 77

    Re: What do certified nurses, chocolate caramel, laughing and poultry all have in common? Today is their day nationally!

    Post  Psycho144 on Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:52 am

    Very Happy Very Happy

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