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    Uh oh!

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    sinister_midget
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    Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:44 am

    A biker is riding across the Golden Gate bridge when he sees a girl standing on the edge looking like she might be ready to jump.


    "Hey, hon," he said. "What're doin'?"


    The girl replies, "I'm gonna jump. My life's so horrible that I just don't want to live any more."


    He decides to try something and can maybe stop her from killing herself.


    "OK, if you say so. But how about a favor? How about a kiss before you go?"


    She steps down and gives him the warmest, most moist and passionate kiss he'd ever had in his life. Then she climbs back up on the edge.


    "Wow!" he exclaims. "That was really great! But I don't get it. Why would anybody so passionate want to kill themselves?"


    The girl explains, "My life is so miserable! My parents constantly jump all over me every time I dress like a girl."
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:46 am

    When I was a kid and single, every time I went to a wedding my aunt would tell me, "You're next."


    So when my uncle died, I went to the funeral, found my aunt and said, "You're next."
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:47 am

    I won a contest the other day. The grand prize was a year's worth of calendars.
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:48 am

    You can say what you want about pedophiles. But at least they drive slow through school zones.
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:52 am

    Q: Why do liberals like smart women?


    A: Because opposites attract
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:00 am

    There was a Mensa convention in San Francisco.



    Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café.



    When they sat down, one of them discovered that the salt shaker contained pepper, and the pepper shaker was full of salt. The member wondered if there was a way to swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any and using only the implements at hand?


    Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.


    The group debated the problem and came up with several ideas and finally reached a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw and an empty saucer.


    They decided they'd like to impress somebody with their great intelligence and impressive reasoning. So they called the waitress over ready to dazzle her with their solution.


    "Ma'am," said one, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper."


    But before he could finish, the waitress interrupted: "Oh sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.


    There was dead silence at the Mensa table.


    Makes you wonder if the government isn't run by Mensa members, doesn't it?
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    sinister_midget
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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  sinister_midget on Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:08 am

    Two blonds were exploring a cave. They didn't watch closely enough where they were going and fell down a hole, losing the only light they had up top.


    One blond asks, "Sure is dark in here, isn't it?"


    The other blond replied, "I don't know. I can't see."
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    Joencalif2

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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  Joencalif2 on Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:07 pm

    Good ones.....lol
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    Psycho144

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    Re: Uh oh!

    Post  Psycho144 on Tue Sep 06, 2016 1:02 pm

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